Mulan

Mulan

[Chinese guard is seen walking on The Great Wall. Shan-Yu's falcon swoops down and hits the guard on the head knocking his helmet off. The falcon lands on top of a flag pole in front of a full moon and lets out a large cry. One grappling hook comes over The Great Wall. The guard walks over to the edge and sees many grappling hooks coming towards him]

Guard [yelling]: We're under attack! Light the signal!

[Guard runs to the tower and up the ladder as Hun Bald Man #1 and Hun Long Hair Man appear trying to stop him. Hun Bald Man #1 breaks the ladder with his sword just as Guard reaches the top. The guard picks up the torch to light the fire and sees Shan-Yu jump over the edge of the tower and looks at him across from the caldron. The guard throws the torch into the caldron lighting a large fire. Shan-Yu watches as each tower lights their caldrons one by one]

Guard [sternly]: Now all of China knows you're here.

Shan-Yu [taking the flag and holding it over the fire]: Perfect.

[Cut to the palace. The large doors to the central chamber open as General Li walks in flanked on his left and right by soldiers and approaches the Emperor. He bows, then looks up]

General Li: Your Majesty, the Huns have crossed our Northern border.

Chi Fu: Impossible! No one can get through The Great Wall. [The Emperor motions for Chi Fu's silence]

General Li: Shun-Yu is leading them. We'll set up defenses around your palace immediately.

Emperor [forcefully]: No! Send your troops to protect my people. Chi Fu.

Chi Fu: Yes, your highness.

Emperor: Deliver conscription notices throughout all the provinces. Call up reserves and as many new recruits as possible.

General Li: Forgive me your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him.

Emperor: I wont take any chances, General. A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.

[Cut to Mulan using her chopsticks to single out a grain of rice on top of the mound of rice]

Mulan: Quiet and demure...graceful...polite... [picking up some rice with her chopsticks and eating a mouthful] delicate...refined...poised... [She sets down her chopsticks and writes down a final word on her right arm] punctual. [A cock crows] Aiya. [Calling out] Little brother. Little brother. Lit- ahhh, there you are. Who's the smartest doggie in the world? Come on smart boy, can you help me with my chores today?

[Mulan ties a sack of grain around Little Brother's waist. She ties a stick onto Little brother so that end of it is in front of Little Brother's face.  She ties the bone on the end of the stick just out of reach. Little Brother begins to run after the bone which he cannot reach. Mulan opens the door for Little Brother and he runs into the door frame, then out the open door. Little brother runs by the chickens and Khan - the family horse]

[Cut to Mulan's Father, Fa Zhou, kneeling and praying before the Fa family's ancestors]

Fa Zhou: Honorable ancestors, please help Mulan impress the matchmaker today.

Little Brother [running into the temple and around Fa Zhou scattering grain around the floor]: Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.

[The chickens follow Little Brother into the temple and begin to feed on the grain]

Fa Zhou: Please, PLEASE, help her.

[Mulan steps up to the temple seeing Little Brother on his hind legs trying to get the bone. Mulan bends the stick down so that Little brother can reach the bone. Little brother gnaws on the bone happily. Mulan continues toward the temple]

Mulan [calling out]: Father I brought your-- whoop! [Fa Zhou bumps into Mulan. The cup falls to the ground and Fa Zhou catches the teapot with the handle of his cane]

Fa Zhou: Mulan--

Mulan: I brought a spare. [Mulan pulls out a cup from underneath the back of her dress and begins to pour the tea]

Fa Zhou: Mulan--

Mulan [hurried]: Remember, the doctor said three cups of tea in the morning--

Fa Zhou: Mulan--

Mulan: And three at night.

Fa Zhou: Mulan, you should already be in town. We're counting on you to up--

Mulan: --uphold the family honor. Don't worry father. I wont let you down. [Mulan covers over the writing on her arm with here sleeve] Wish me luck. [Mulan hurries down the stairs]

Fa Zhou [calling out]: Hurry! [to himself] I'm going to... pray some more.

[Fa Zhou turns and walks back into the temple]

[Cut to the town with Fa Li looking worried]

Bath Lady [poking out of her building]: Fa Li, is your daughter here yet? The matchmaker is not a patient woman. [She goes back into the building]

Fa Li: Of all days to be late. I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck.

Grandma Fa [walking in with a Cri-Kee in a cage]: How lucky can they be, they're dead. Besides, I've got all the luck we'll need. [Speaking to Cri-Kee] This is your chance to prove yourself. [Cri-Kee chirps approvingly. Grandma Fa covers her eyes steps into a busy street]

Fa Li [excitedly]: Grandma No!

[The traffic barely misses Grandma Fa as she crosses the busy street. But two horse and carriage collide causing a big accident. She arrives at the other side of the street, uncovers here eyes and looks at Cri-Kee]

Grandma Fa: Yep, this cricket's a lucky one. [Cri-Kee falls over out of fright]

Fa Li [sighing in relief]: Hai.

[Mulan arrives on Khan jumping over the recent accident in the street and jumps off with hay stuck in her hair]

Mulan: I'm here. [Seeing a stern look from her mother] What? But Mama I had to--

Fa Li: None of your 'xcuses. Now let's get you cleaned up. [They walk together into the preparation area]

[Song: Honor to us all]

Bath Lady: [all the while Bath Lady undresses Mulan and pushes her into the Bath]

This is what you give me

to work with?

Well, honey, I've seen worse.

We're gonna turn

this sow's ear

Into a silk purse. [Bath Lady moves the silk partition aside showing Mulan in the bath]

Mulan [spoken]: It's freezing.

Fa Li [spoken]: It would have been warm if you were here on time.

Bath Lady [washing Mulan's hair]:

We'll have you

Washed and dried

Primped and polished 

till you glow with pride

Trust my recipe for 

instant bride

You'll bring honor to us all

Fa Li [grabbing a sponge and Mulan's right arm to start cleaning her. She notices the writing] [spoken]: Mulan, what's this?

Mulan [Drawing her arm back and batting her eyelashes] [spoken]: Ahh, notes, in case I forget something?

Grandma Fa [spoken]: Here, hold this [hands the cricket to Fa Li]. We'll need more luck than I thought. [Mulan looks on with an air of disappointment]

[Cut to the hair dressers]

Hair Dresser 1 [Brushing and combing Mulan's hair much to Mulan's chagrin]:

Wait and see

When we're through

Hair Dresser 2:

Boys will gladly go to

war for you

Hair Dresser 1:

With good fortune

Hair Dresser 2 [Finalizing the hairdo to look exactly like hers]:

And a great hairdo

Both:

You'll bring honor to us all

Fa Li and others: [Mulan following her Mother passes a xiangqi game and pauses to make an impressive move. Mulan has a smug look on her face when Fa Li comes back and drags Mulan away]

A girl can bring her family

Great honor in one way

By striking a good match

And this could be the day

Dresser 1 [Dresser 1, Dresser 2, and Fa Li dress Mulan]:

Men want girls

with good taste

Dresser 2:

Calm

Fa Li:

Obedient

Dresser 1:

Who work fast-paced

Fa Li:

With good breeding

Dresser 2 [Pulling the dress tight around her waist]:

And a tiny waist

Mulan [expressing her waist being squeezed tight] [spoken]: huh.

All Three:

You'll bring honor to us all

Chorus: [Mulan follows Fa Li and sees boy stealing a doll from a girl. Mulan grabs the doll from the boy and returns it to its owner]

We all must serve

our Emperor

Who guards us from the Huns

A man by bearing arms

A girl by bearing sons

Make-up Lady/Fa Li: [Putting on Mulan's face, powder, lipstick and eye liner]

[in a 3 person round]

When we're through

you can't fail

Like a lotus blossom

soft and pale

How could any fellow

say "No sale"

You'll bring honor to us all

[Make-Up Lady holds a mirror so Mulan can see her reflection. Not looking pleased, Mulan takes her single, short bang and brings it down in front of her forehead and smiles]

Fa Li [spoken. Fa Li places a hair comb in Mulan's hair]: There, you're ready.

Grandma Fa [spoken]: Not yet! An apple for serenity [putting an apple in Mulan's mouth]...A pendant for balance [places a yin-yang pendant under her sash] [sings]

Beads of jade for beauty [putting beads around Mulan's neck]

You must proudly show it [Grandma Fa raises her chin high with her hand]

Now add a cricket just for luck [putting the cage with Cri-Kee under Mulan's sash in the back. Cri-Kee doesn't look pleased]

And even you can't blow it

Mulan: [Walking to catch up with the other maidens]

Ancestors

Hear my plea

Help me not to make a fool of me

And to not uproot my fam'ly tree

Keep my father standing tall

Maidens and Mulan: [Mulan taking the parasol from Fal Li and running to fall in line with the other 4 maidens]

Scarier than the undertaker

We are meeting our 

matchmaker

All Townspeople:

Destiny

Guard our girls

And our future

as it fast unfurls

Please look kindly on

these cultured pearls

Each a perfect porcelain doll

Maiden #1: Please bring honor to us

Maiden #2: Please bring honor to us

Maiden #3: Please bring honor to us

Maiden #4: Please bring honor to us

Mulan and Maidens: Please bring honor to us all!

[All Girls and Mulan arrive before the Matchmaker crouched down behind their parasols. End of song]

Matchmaker [looking at her clipboard]: Fa Mulan

Mulan [Jumping up and raising her hand]: Present.

Matchmaker: Speaking without permission.

Mulan: Oops.

Grandma Fa [to Fa Li]: Who spit in her bean curd?

[Mulan walks into the Matchmaker's building with the Matchmaker following behind and closing the door]

Matchmaker [looking over Mulan]: Huh, Hmm, too skinny. [Cri-Kee escapes from his cage. Mulan struggles to catch him] Hmph, not good for bearing sons. [Mulan puts Cri-Kee in her mouth when Matchmaker turns around to face her] Recite the final admonition.

Mulan [nodding and smiling]: Mmm-Hmm. [Takes out fan and covers her mouth as she spits out Cri-Kee] Ptu

Matchmaker: Well...

Mulan [with dignity]: Fulfill your duties calmly and re...f--[looking at her arm with smeared writing] spectfully. Reflect before you snack [surprised, Mulan looks at her arm again] act. [now rapidly] This shall bring you honor and glory. [Fanning herself rapidly and sighing in relief] Huh.

Matchmaker [snatches the fan and looks at it on both sides looking for notes not finding any. Mulan smiles big when Matchmaker looks at her. Matchmaker grabs Mulan's right arm pulling her along while smearing the writing and leaving some ink on her hand]: Hmmm, this way. Now, pour the tea [Pushing a teapot towards Mulan]. To please your future in-laws you must demonstrate a sense of dignity [Matchmaker smears ink around her mouth. Mulan staring at Matchmaker pours some tea onto the table then notices her mistake and pours the tea into the cup] and refinement. You must also be poised. [Mulan notices Cri-kee in the tea-cup as Matchmaker takes the cup]

Mulan [quiet and timid]: Um, pardon me.

Matchmaker: And silent! [Matchmaker sniffs the tea]

Mulan [reaching and grabbing the teacup]: Could I just take that back...one moment.

[They struggle for the teacup and it turns over on Matchmaker and Cri-kee jumps down matchmaker's dress]

Matchmaker: Why you clumsy--[Matchmaker feels Cri-Kee in her dress and dances around] Wooo, woooo, wooooooo, [Matchmaker knocks over her pot of coals, and sits down on the coals. Matchmaker jumps around screaming] Ahhhhhhhhhhh

[Mulan grabs her fan and briskly fans the charred area on Matchmaker's behind causing it to flame up. Mulan looks surprised about her mistake]

[Cut to outside Matchmakers building showing Grandma Fa with much noise coming from Matchmaker's building]

Grandma Fa [to Fa Li]: I think it's going well, don't you?

Matchmaker [running out of the building screaming]: Put it out! Put it out!  Put it out! [Mulan takes the teapot, throws the tea on Matchmaker and puts out the fire. She bows, hands the teapot back to Matchmaker and covers her face as she walks toward Fa Li and Grandma Fa] [with anger] You are a disgrace! [Matchmaker throws the teapot down smashing it to pieces] You may look like a bride, but you will never bring your family honor!

[The townsfolk who have gathered whisper and walk away]

[Cut to Mulan walking through the gate with her home leading khan. She looks sorrowful. Fa Zhou sees his daughter and smiles. Mulan sees her father's smile. She covers her face with Khan's head and leads him to the water trough]

[Song: Reflection]

Mulan:

Look at me [looking at her reflection in the water trough]

I will never pass for a perfect bride [taking off her earrings and beads of jade]

Or a perfect daughter [Mulan watches Fa Li relating what happened at the Matchmaker's to Fa Zhou]

Can it be

I'm not meant to play this part? [Mulan releases Cri-Kee back to the wild]

Now I see

That if I were to truly

To be myself [Mulan hops along the bridge railing]

I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl I see [Mulan looks into the pond and sees her own reflection]

Staring straight

Back at me? [Mulan puts her hand on the Great Stone Dragon and looks toward the temple]

Why is my reflection someone I don't know? [Cri-Kee rowing across the pond on a lily pad]

Somehow I cannot hide [Mulan walking into the family temple]

Who I am [Cri-Kee watches Mulan in the temple seeing multiple reflections of herself in the ancestors' stones]

Though I've tried [Mulan bows to the ancestors]

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside? [Mulan finishes wiping off her make-up seeing her reflection in the stones]

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside? [Mulan gets up and heads out the temple]

[End of song. Mulan sits on a bench under the blossom tree. Fa Zhou approaches her, clearing his throat. Mulan sees him approaching and turns her head away. Fa Zhou sits down beside Mulan]

Fa Zhou: My, my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year [looking up into the blossom tree]. But look, this one's late. But, I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all. [Mulan and Fa Zhou share smiles. Drums start pounding announcing the arrival of Chi Fu and two guards on horseback]

Mulan: What is it?

[Fa Zhou gets up and walks to the entrance of their house with Mulan following]

Fa Li: Mulan, stay inside.

[Grandma Fa clears her throat catching Mulan's attention and motions inside. Mulan spies the railing near the wall and climbs up to watch over the roof]

Chi Fu: Citizens I bring you a proclamation from the Imperial City: the Huns have invaded China!

Townspeople [expressing surprise]: No!

Chi Fu: By order of the Emperor, one man from every family must serve in the Imperial Army. The Xiao family [a family member steps up, bows to the guard and takes the conscription notice from the guard]. The Yi family.

Yi's Son [holding his old father back]: I will serve the Emperor in my father's place.

Chi Fu: The Fa Family.

Mulan: No.

[Fa Zhou gives his cane to Fa Li and walks toward Chi Fu. Fa Zhou bows before the horsemen]

Fa Zhou [standing proud]: I am ready to serve the Emperor. [Fa Zhou reaches for the conscription notice]

Mulan [running outside to keep her father from taking the conscription notice]: Father, you can't go.

Fa Zhou [turning to see his daughter]: Mulan!

Mulan: Please sir, my father has already fought bravely--

Chi Fu: Silence! You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence.

Fa Zhou [looking away from Mulan]: Mulan, you dishonor me.

[Grandma Fa guides Mulan back away]

Chi Fu [handing Fa Zhou the conscription notice]: Report tomorrow at the Wu Shu camp.

Fa Zhou: Yes, sir. [Fa Zhou walks back into the homestead refusing to take his cane from Fa Li]

Chi Fu [fading out as we follow Fa Zhou]: The Chu family. The Wen family. The Chang family. The...

[Cut to Fa Zhou in his armory at night. Fa Zhou takes out his sword and practices his stances. Whan he balances on his right leg, his leg injury acts up and he falls. Unbeknownst to her father, Mulan watches in horror. She breathes heavily]

[Cut to dinner. The Fa Zhou, Grandma Fa, Fa Li, and Mulan eat in silence. Thunder can be heard and lightning can be seen through the opaque window. Mulan pours the tea for her family. She slams her teacup down on the table and stands up]

Mulan: You shouldn't have to go.

Fa Li: Mulan!

Mulan: There are plenty of young men to fight for China.

Fa Zhou: It is an honor to protect my country and my family.

Mulan [angrily]: So you'll die for honor!

Fa Zhou [standing up and angered]: I will DIE doing what's right.

Mulan [starts to speak but is cut off]: But if you--

Fa Zhou: I know my place, it is time you learned yours.

[Mulan looking like she's about to cry, turn away from Fa Zhou and runs outside into the rain storm and cries]

[Cut to Mulan sitting at the base of the Great Stone Dragon in the rain. Mulan looks down to see her reflection in the puddle caused by the rain. She watches her parents in the bedroom. Fa Li turns away from Fa Zhou and walks out of site. Fa Zhou blows out the light. Mulan gets up and walks to the Fa Family Temple. Mulan's image reflects off the stone tablets as she lights incense and places it in the hanging encense holder. She bows and prays to her ancestors. Getting up, Mulan hurries down the steps. Cri-Kee sees her and hops down from above and follows her. Mulan goes to her parent's bedroom and takes the conscription notice replacing it with the hair comb her mother gave to her. She pauses to give her parents a loving, sorrowful look and hurries out. Cut to Mulan in the armory. She opens the cabinet with the armor. Using her father's sword, she cuts her hair short and ties it up above her head. She finishes putting on the armor and ties it in the front. She takes the sword and places it in the scabbard to her left. Cut to Mulan in the stable doorway. Khan rears back in fright at the sight of Mulan. Mulan goes forward and comforts Khan letting him know her identity. Mulan walks Khan out of the stable, Cri-Kee watches from the ground as she passes by. Mulan takes one sorrowful glance back at her parents bedroom and rides Khan through the gate and off to camp.]

[Cut to the face of a statue in the Fa Family Temple. The eyes glow. Cut to Grandma Fa. She wakes up with a start rising in bed. Cut to Grandma Fa walking into Fa Li and Fa Zhou's bedroom, both are in bed]

Grandma Fa: Mulan is gone.

Fa Zhou [waking up]: What? It can't be. [Fa Zhou looks at his night stand and notices the hair comb in place of his conscription notice. He checks the cabinet and sees his armor is gone. He hurries outside] [calling out] Mulan! [He stumbles while walking because of his leg injury] No.

Fa Li [kneeling down beside the fallen Fa Zhou]: You must go after her. She could be killed!

Fa Zhou [sadly]: If I reveal her, she will be. [Fa Zhou embraces Fa Li]

Grandma Fa: Ancestors, hear our prayer: Watch over Mulan.

[Cut to the Fa Family Temple. A wind blows out the incense at the base of the center stone. The center stone begins to glow as First Ancestor comes to life]

First Ancestor [motioning to a bronze dragon]: Mushu, awaken!

[Mushu comes to life and falls to the ground flat on his back all being obscured by smoke]

Mushu [rising from the smoke arms stretched out]: I live! So tell me what mortal needs my protection Great Ancestor. You just say the word and I'm there.

First Ancestor [agitated]: Mushu!

Mushu: Hey, let me say something. Anybody who is foolish enough to threaten our family, vengeance will be MINE. Hrrrrr.

First Ancestor [sternly to silence Mushu]: Mushu! These are the family guardians [motioning towards the stone statues on pedestals near the ceiling]. They...

Mushu [dejectedly]: Protect the family.

First Ancestor [pointing to the empty pedestal]: And you, oh demoted one.

Mushu: I...ring the gong.

First Ancestor: That's right, now, wake up the ancestors.

Mushu: One family reunion coming right up. [ringing the gong] Okay people, people look alive, lets go! C'mon get up. Let's move it, rise and shine. You're way past the beauty sleep thing now trust me!

Ancestor 1: I knew it, I knew it. That Mulan was a trouble maker from the start.

Ancestor 3: Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family.

Ancestor 2: She's just trying to help her father.

Ancestor 4 [appearing out of thin air]: But, if she is discovered, Fa Zhou will be forever shamed. Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate.

Ancestor 5: Not to mention they'll lose the farm.

Ancestor 1: My children never caused such trouble. They all became acupuncturists.

Ancestor 3: Well, We can't all be acupuncturists.

Ancestor 6: No, your great granddaughter had to be cross-dresser!

[All ancestors argue at once, except First Ancestor]

Ancestor 7: Let a guardian bring her back.

Ancestor 8 [grabbing Mushu and bringing him next to a guardian]: Yeah, awaken the most cunning.

Ancestor 4 [taking Mushu and holding him next to the stone rabbit guardian]: No, the swiftest.

Ancestor 9 [grabbing Mushu and holding him next to the stone monkey guardian]: No, send the wisest.

First Ancestor: Silence! We must send the most powerful of all [Motioning to the Great Stone Dragon as it is seen through the window]

Mushu [climbs up the empty guardian post laughing]: Ho, ho, heh, heh. Okay, okay, I get the drift, I'll go. [All Ancestors give a quick look of surprise and laugh uncontrollably] You all don't think I can do it. Watch this here. [Mushu produces a small flame from his mouth] Ah, ha, Jump back, I'm pretty hot huh. Don't make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.

First Ancestor [grabbing Mushu and pulling away from the post]: You had your chance to protect the Fa family.

Ancestor 6: Your mis-guidance led Fa Deng to disaster.

Fa Deng [with his decapitated head on his lap]: Yeah, thanks a lot.

Mushu: And your point is?

First Ancestor: The point is we will be sending a real dragon to retrieve Mulan.

Mushu: What? But I'm a real dragon.

First Ancestor [grabbing Mushu and pulling him away from the guardian post as Mushu fights to hold on]: You are not worthy of this spot. Now, awaken the Great Stone Dragon. [First Ancestor throws Mushu out of the temple]

Mushu [looking back into the temple]: So you'll get back to me on the job thing.

[An ancestor throws Mushu's gong and hits Mushu in the face]

Toy Story 2

ON SCREEN:

WALT DISNEY PICTURES.

PIXAR.

WALT DISNEY PICTURES presents a PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS film TOY STORY 2.

GAMMA QUADRANT, SECTOR 4.

BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: Buzz Lightyear mission log. All signs point to this planet as the location of Zurg's fortress, but there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.

EMPEROR ZURG: Come to me, my prey.

BUZZ: To infinity and beyond!

ZURG: So, we meet again, Buzz Lightyear, for the last time.

BUZZ: Not today, Zurg! Oh, yeah!

HAMM: Uh-oh, that pesky Zurg character. Use your time warp cannon!

REX: Really? I would use my terillium shield.

BUZZ: I'll de-moleculize him with my antimatter phaser.

HAMM: No! Buzz Lightyear wouldn't do that.

BUZZ: You fool! I am Buzz Lightyear!

HAMM: Now it's attacking.

REX: Buzz, do something!

HAMM: I'm trying!

BUZZ: Woody, tell these guys I know what I'm doing.

WOODY: Guys, next time I'm stranded on an alien planet, there's no one I'd rather have lead the rescue party than Buzz Lightyear...

REX: Oh, no! No! No, no, no, no, no!

HAMM: Oh! You almost had it.

REX: I'm never gonna defeat Zurg!

BUZZ: Sure you will, you're a better Buzz than I am.

REX: But look at my little arms! I can't press the fire button and jump at the same time!

WOODY: See you later, guys. Gotta check something out.

SLINKY DOG: Howdy, Woody! Andy coming home today?

WOODY: Three more days, Slinky. Hey, Slink, checkers at four o'clock?

SLINKY: Where? Where?

WOODY: Good one, Slink.

Sergeant: Keep looking, men! Dig deeper! Negatory! Still searching!

WOODY: Great, Sarge. Keep that morale up.

HAMM: The lawn gnome next door says it's not in the yard, but he'll keep looking.

BO PEEP: It's not in Molly's room. We've looked everywhere.

MR. POTATO HEAD: Aww, who's my widdle tater tot?

MRS. POTATO HEAD: Ooh, you're my itty bitty wuv spud.

HAMM: Hey, spud head, feel like catching the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot fight?

POTATO HEAD: Not today, Hamm. Got to finish the deck.

HAMM: Oh, I get it. Missis doesn't want you going out.

POTATO HEAD: Hey, I wear the skin in the family!

HAMM: Really? How about tomorrow then?

POTATO HEAD: I'm sorry. Building the wife and redwood hot tub.

HAMM: Man, that is one whipped potato.

WOODY: Bo? Why'd you do that?

BO PEEP: So I could do this. That's for doing such a good job keeping the toys happy while Andy's been away.

WOODY: Howuzzah... Ishkabibble...

BO PEEP: If you need me, Sheriff, you know what to do. Just give me a ring.

WOODY: Great. This is the last thing the toys need.

REX: Miss Peep! Your sheep!

Al: Hey, kids, this is Al from Al's Toy Barn and I'm sitting on some good deals here. Ow! I think I'm feeling a deal hatching right now! Whoa! Let's see what we got. We got boats for a buck, beanies for a buck...

WOODY: Rex, turn it off! Someone's gonna hear!

REX: Which one is off?

Al: Buck, buck, buck! And that's cheap, cheap, cheap! So hurry on down...

HAMM: For crying out loud! It's this one! I despise that chicken.

WOODY: Not a problem! I'm fine! Keep on playing!

BUZZ: Okay, Wood.

REX: Yeah.

WOODY: Uh-oh!

REX: It's Buster!

HAMM: Someone's coming!

Sergeant: Man your battle stations! Let's move, move, move!

Rocky: Woody, hurry up and Buster's here!

BO PEEP: Woody! Hide, quick!

WOODY: Okay, okay, okay. Okay! Okay! You found me! Buster! All right! Hey, how did he do, Hamm?

HAMM: Looks like a new record.

WOODY: Okay, boy, sit. Reach for the sky. Gotcha! Ohh! Great job, boy. Who's gonna miss me while I'm gone, huh? Who's gonna miss me? Who's gonna miss me?

ANDY'S MOM: Andy, you got all your stuff?

WOODY: Okay. Have a good weekend, everybody. I'll see you Sunday night.

ANDY: It's in my room! Stick 'em up! I guess we'll work on that later. Hey, Woody, ready to go to Cowboy Camp?

WOODY (VOICE BOX): You're my favorite deputy!

ANDY'S MOM: Come on, Andy, honey. Five minutes, and we're leaving.

ANDY: Five minutes. Hmm. Help, help! Somebody help me! Let her go, evil Dr. Pork Chop! Never! You must choose, Sheriff Woody. How shall she die? Shark? Or death by monkeys? Choose! I choose Buzz Lightyear! What? That's not a choice! To infinity and beyond! I'll save you, Miss Peep! My hero! Thanks, Buzz. No problem, buddy. You should never tangle with the unstoppable duo of Woody and Buzz Lightyear! Oh, no.

ANDY'S MOM: Andy, let's go! Molly's already in her car seat.

ANDY: But, Mom, Woody's arm ripped.

ANDY'S MOM: Oh, no. Maybe we can fix him on the way.

ANDY: No, just leave him.

ANDY'S MOM: I'm sorry, honey, but you know toys don't last forever.

REX: What happened?

POTATO HEAD: Woody's been shelved.

WOODY: Andy.

SLINKY: Woody?

BO PEEP: Woody, are you alright? Honey?

ANDY: ...and we made smores and sang songs. Can I go back next week?

ANDY'S MOM: We'll see, sweetie.

ANDY: Yee-haw! Ride 'em, cowboy! Whoo!

WOODY: He's back? Hey, everybody! Andy's back! He's back early from cowboy camp!

HAMM: Places, everybody! Andy's coming!

ANDY: Yeah! Hey, Woody, did you miss me? Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up! Ride 'em, cowboy! Oh. I forgot. You're broken. I don't wanna play with you anymore.

WOODY: What the...? No! Andy! No! No, Andy, no! Andy! Andy! Andy!

ANDY: Bye, Woody.

BUZZ: Andy, no, no, not the trash. Leave the garbage lid alone, kid? Woody!

REX: For crying this loud! This one trashed.

Cop: Andy! Grab the garbage lid, and you're under arrest.

WOODY: No, no! Andy! Don't going jail!

BUZZ: What happened in the trash with Woody?!

POTATO HEAD: Buzz, what has charmed with Andy!

WOODY: No, no, no! Andy! Wheezy, is that you?

WHEEZY: Hey, Woody.

WOODY: What are you doing up here? I thought Mom took you to get your squeaker fixed months ago. Andy was so upset.

WHEEZY: Nah. She just told him that to calm him down and then put me on the shelf.

WOODY: Well, why didn't you yell for help?

WHEEZY: Well, I tried squeaking. But I'm still broken. No one could hear me. Besides, the dust aggravates my condition. What's the point in prolonging the inevitable? We're all just one stitch away from here to there.

WOODY: Yard sale. Yard sale? Yard sale! Guys, wake up, wake up! There's a yard sale outside!

BUZZ: Yard sale?

WOODY: Yard sale! Everyone, calm down. It's just a yard sale...

POTATO HEAD: Yard sale? That's worse than being given to the puppy!

WOODY: Come on, there's no need to worry.

REX: Strangers poking and prodding at my soft underbelly, how humiliating!

WOODY: Rex! No one is going to get poked!

HAMM: Sure, sell the kid's toys when he's away at camp! He'll be in therapy for life!

WOODY: Everyone, quiet! Relax. None of us are going to the yard sale. Mom wouldn't sell any of us with Andy away at camp! Besides, yard sales are only for old toys.

POTATO HEAD: Woody's right. We shouldn't be worried. He should! He's the oldest toy around here. Woody's practically an antique!

WOODY: Oh, I am not an antique!

REX: Don't worry, Woody. Just because you're falling apart, that doesn't change how much we love you.

WOODY: Hey, I am not falling apart! I've just been... heavily loved.

HAMM: Hmm, fiberurethane. Now that's quality plush fill. Course it's been banned since the seventies...

WOODY: Alright! Sarge! Emergency roll call!

Sergeant: Sir, yes, sir! Red alert! All civilians fall in position now! Single file! Let's move, move, move!

BUZZ: Hamm?

HAMM: Here.

BUZZ: Potato Head, Mr. and Mrs.?

POTATO HEADS: Here.

BUZZ: Troikas? Check. Check, check, check, check. Rocky?

REX: I hate yard sales.

BUZZ: Slinky?

REX: Aah! Someone's coming!

ANDY'S MOM: Okay, let's see what's up here.

WHEEZY: Bye, Woody.

WOODY: Wheezy! Oh, come on. Think, think, Woody. Think, think, think... Oh! Hey, here, boy! Here, Buster! Up here! No. No, no... No, no, no! Okay, boy, to the yard sale!

POTATO HEAD: What's going on?

BO PEEP: Woody!

POTATO HEAD: He's nuts!

SLINKY: His arm ain't that bad.

REX: Don't do it, Woody! We love you!

WOODY: Careful on the steps now.

ANDY'S MOM: Hi. Can I help you?

WOODY: Okay, boy, let's go. And keep it casual. Not that casual.

HAMM: Piggy bank coming through. Coming through.

SLINKY: Hey, let me see.

REX: Is he out there?

BO PEEP: Can you see him?

BUZZ: There it is.

REX: Oh, it's getting in the box!

HAMM: He's selling himself for cents!

SLINKY: Oh, Woody, you're worth more than that.

BUZZ: Hold on, hold on, hold on. He's got something. It's Wheezy!

Toys: Wheezy? Wheezy?

REX: Hey! It's not suicide! It's a rescue!

WOODY: Good boy, Buster. Hold still. There. There you go, pal.

WHEEZY: Bless you, Woody.

WOODY: All right, now, back to Andy's room.

BUZZ: Way to go, cowboy.

HAMM: Yeah, Woodster!

SLINKY: Golly bob howdy!

WHEEZY: Woody! I'm slipping!

Kid: Mommy! Mommy, look! Look at this! Mommy, look, it's a cowboy dolly!

REX: Hey, that's not her toy!

BUZZ: No, no, no, no, no!

SLINKY: What's that little girl think she's doing?

Kid: Mommy! Mommy! Can we get it? Please? Mommy, please?

Mother: Honey, you don't want this toy. It's broken.

WOODY (VOICE BOX): There's a snake in my boot.

Al: Original hand-painted face. Natural-dyed, blanket-stitched vest! Hmm. A little rip. Fixable. Oh, if only you had your hand-stitched, polyvinyl hat! A Woody! I found him! I found him! I found him! A genuine 1958 Woody with original hat!

ANDY'S MOM: Buster! Quiet down! Excuse me. Can I help you?

Al: Uh, how much for all this stuff?

SLINKY: Yeah, you can help take his paws off my pal.

Al: I want this clock radio, these Abba eight-tracks and er... this junky, worthless, old, cowboy thingy.

ANDY'S MOM: Woody? What's he doing down here? He's not for sale.

BUZZ: Now just walk away.

Al: Wait!

BUZZ: The other way.

Al: Come on, it's a yard sale, lady. I found that thing fair and square. It's not for me. I want it for my poor bedridden son, er... Phil. My son Phil.

POTATO HEAD: Fifty bucks ain't bad.

ANDY'S MOM: It's not for sale.

Al: Everything's for sale. Or trade. Uh, you like my watch?

ANDY'S MOM: Sorry.

BUZZ: He's safe.

HAMM: Way to go, Andy's mom!

POTATO HEAD: Whew. That was close.

SLINKY: All right! She showed him.

Al: But, lady...

ANDY'S MOM: Molly, don't touch that, please.

Al: Lady. Lady. Lady!

POTATO HEAD: Yeah, go home, Mr. Fancy Car.

Al: Oh.

BUZZ: Hold on.

HAMM: What's up?

ANDY'S MOM: Molly?

REX: What is it, Buzz?

ANDY'S MOM: Molly! I'll be right here, sweetie. Oh! What now?

POTATO HEAD: What's happening down there?

HAMM: What's going on down there?

SLINKY: What's he doing?

REX: I can't watch! Can someone cover my eyes?

POTATO HEAD: Hey! Chubby's stealing our Sheriff!

REX: Come back with Woody, you, you... toynapper!

Man: Okay, where's the red jacket?

BUZZ: "L-Z-T-Y-B-R-N?"

BO PEEP: Woody!

HAMM: All right, let's review this one more time. At precisely: -ish, Exhibit "A", Woody, was kidnapped. Exhibit "B": Composite sketch of the kidnapper.

Toy: Nah, that's not him.

BO PEEP: He didn't have a beard like that.

HAMM: Fine. Uh, Etch, give him a shave.

SLINKY: The kidnapper was bigger than that.

HAMM: Oh, picky, picky, picky.

POTATO HEAD: Let's just go straight to Exhibit "F": The kidnapper's vehicle. Now, the vehicle fled the scene in this direction.

HAMM: Your eyes are in backwards. It went the other way.

POTATO HEAD: Hey, put a cork in it.

HAMM: How do you spell FBI?

POTATO HEAD: My crime scene!

HAMM: Oh, why don't you watch where you're going, "Godspilla"?

REX: I didn't know there was a crime scene.

BUZZ: Excuse me. Excuse me. A little quiet, please. Thank you.

HAMM: Huh?

BUZZ: Try the "l-z" combination.

MR. SPELL: Lazy toy brain. Lousy tie, Bernie.

REX: What are you doing, Buzz?

BUZZ: There was some sort of message encoded on that vehicle's ID tag.

MR. SPELL: Liz try bran.

POTATO HEAD: It's just a licence plate. It's just a jumble of letters.

HAMM: Yeah, and there are about million registered cars in the Tri-County area alone.

MR. SPELL: Lou's thigh burn. Lance to your brain.

POTATO HEAD: Oh, this is going in circles. Let's leave Buzz to play with his toys.

BUZZ: Toy. Toy. Toy! Hold on!

Toys: Huh?

MR. SPELL: Al's Toy Barn.

POTATO HEAD: Huh? Al's Toy Barn?

MR. SPELL: That is correct.

BUZZ: Al's Toy Barn. The man who stole Woody was Al!

Toys: What?!

HAMM: Al's Toy Barn? The fat guy from the TV commercials?

BUZZ: Etch, draw that man in a chicken suit.

REX: It's the chicken man!

BUZZ: That's our guy.

HAMM: I knew there was something I didn't like about that chicken.

Al: Yes! Yes! Yes! A genuine first edition Woody! At last! The mother lode! Woody! Woody! Woody! What?! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be right there. And we're gonna do this commercial in one take. Do you hear me? Because I am in the middle of something really important!

Caller: Oh, Mr...

Al: Oh! You, my little cowboy friend, are gonna make me big buck-buck-bucks.

WOODY: Who am I fooling? This is hopeless. So long, Andy.

Al: I can't believe I have to drive all the way to work on a Saturday. All the way to work!

WOODY: What? Whoa! Hey! Stop! Horsey, stop! Stop! Sit, boy! Stop it! Sit, I said! Whoa!

JESSIE: Yee-hah! It's you! It's you! It's you, it's you, it's you! It's really you!

WOODY: What's me?

JESSIE: Whoo-whee!

WOODY (VOICE BOX): There's a snake in my boot!

JESSIE: Ha! It is you!

WOODY: Please stop saying that.

JESSIE: Prospector said someday you'd come. Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln! The Prospector! He'll wanna meet ya! Say hello to the Prospector.

WOODY: I-It's a box.

JESSIE: He's mint in the box. Never been opened.

PROSPECTOR: Turn me around, Bullseye, so I can see. Why, the prodigal son has returned.

JESSIE: Yee-hah! It's you! It's you! You're here! It's you, it's you, it's you!

WOODY: Okay, I'm officially freaked out now.

PROSPECTOR: Now you've done it! You've scared him away with your non-mint hoof!

JESSIE: You're the one who's near mint! At least I still that Señorita Cactus punk!

PROSPECTOR: Old boy, do you know how long we've been waiting for you?! Welcome to the club, sport.

WOODY: Listen, I don't know what. Hey, how do you know my name?

JESSIE: Everyone knows your name, Woody.

PROSPECTOR: Why, you don't know who you are, do you? Bullseye.

WOODY: That's me. Wow. Holy cow.

Announcer: Cowboy Crunchies, the only cereal that's sugar-frosted and dipped in chocolate, proudly presents.

CHORUS: Woody's Roundup

Come on, it's time to play

There's Jessie the Yodeling Cowgirl

JESSIE (TV): Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!

JESSIE: Look it! Look it! That's me!

CHORUS: Bullseye, he's Woody's horse

Man: He's a smart one!

CHORUS: Pete, the old prospector

PROSPECTOR (TV): Has anyone seen my pickaxe?

CHORUS: And the man himself, of course

It's time for Sheriff Woody

He's the very best

He's the rootinest, tootinest cowboy

in the wild, wild west

Woody's Roundup

REX: I can't find it! It doesn't seem to be on any of these stations!

BUZZ: Keep looking.

HAMM: Oh, you're going too slow. Let me take the wheel.

REX: It's too fast. How can you even tell what's on?

HAMM: I can tell.

BUZZ: There it is!

Toys: We made it!

REX: Back, back, back!

HAMM: Too late. I'm in the forties. Gotta go around the horn. It's faster.

Toys: Back! Back! That's it!

Al (TV): And look for the giant chicken!

BUZZ: Now, Etch! That's where I need to go.

REX: You can't go, Buzz. You'll never make it there.

BUZZ: Woody once risked his life to save me. I couldn't call myself his friend if I weren't willing to do the same. So who's with me?

SLINKY: Me neither! Take me with you, Buzz!

REX: Me too! I want to rescue Woody!

BUZZ: Alright. We'll begin our mission in five minutes. With any luck we'll be home tomorrow morning.

MRS. POTATO HEAD: I'm packing you an extra pair of shoes and your angry eyes, just in case.

BO PEEP: This is for Woody when you see him.

BUZZ: I'll pass it on, but I doubt he'll enjoy it coming from me.

WHEEZY: Mister Buzz Lightyear, you just gotta save my pal Woody.

BUZZ: I'll do my best, son.

HAMM: Up for a road trip, spud head?

POTATO HEAD: Me? And leave my little French fry?

MRS. POTATO HEAD: You should go, sweet potato. If you want to make me happy, bring Woody back home.

HAMM: Yeah, "Sweet Potato."

POTATO HEAD: Okay, fellas, let's roll. Geronimo!

REX: You'd think with all my video game experience I'd be feeling more prepared.

SLINKY: The idea is to let go.

BUZZ: We'll be back before Andy gets home.

MRS. POTATO HEAD: Don't talk to any toy you don't know!

BUZZ: To Al's Toy Barn and beyond!

JESSIE (TV): They don't call this the old abandoned mine for nothing, Prospector. I reckon we oughta get outta here.

PROSPECTOR (TV): Where's my gold? Hold on. I'll light me a candle. This sure is a fast-burning wick.

JESSIE (TV): Blast us to smithereens! That there's dynamite!

PROSPECTOR (TV): Holy tarnation!

JESSIE (TV): I'll call for help! Hey, critters, go get Sheriff Woody! Now scoot!

WOODY (TV): Good job, Bullseye. I reckon the new schoolhouse is finally done. What's that? Jessie and Prospector are trapped in the old abandoned mine? And Prospector just lit a stick of dynamite thinking it was a candle, and now they're about to be blown to smithereens?

Rabbit: Mm-hmm!

WOODY (TV): Ride like the wind, Bullseye!

PROSPECTOR (TV): You're fanning the flames, Jessie. It takes brains to put out that fire. Yeow! My biscuits are burning!

Announcer: Will Woody and Bullseye land to safety? Can they reach Jessie and Stinky Pete in time? Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion: 'Woody's Finest Hour.'

WOODY: All right! All right! Next tape! Hey, wait, wait, wait. What... What happened? What happens next? Come on! Let's see the next episode!

PROSPECTOR: That's it.

WOODY: What?

PROSPECTOR: The show was cancelled after that.

WOODY: Wait, wait, wait, wait. What about the gold mine. And the cute little critters and the dynamite? That was a great show. I mean, why cancel it?

PROSPECTOR: Two words: Sputnik. Once the astronauts went up, children only wanted to play with space toys.

WOODY: I know how that feels. But still, my own show! I mean, look at all this stuff!

JESSIE: Didn't you know? Why, you're valuable property!

WOODY: Oh, I wish the guys could see this. "Hey howdy hey!" That's me. I'm on a yo-yo. Oh! Hey, nice teeth. And yet, still a good-looking guy. Oh! It's a bank. Cool! Wh-Wh-What do you, you push the hat, and out come. Oh, out come bubbles. Clever. Oh, wow! Hey, what's this thing do? I get it. There's a snake in my boot. Hey, Bullseye, go long. Go long! A record player! Ha! Haven't seen one of these in ages.

Record: Bullseye...

WOODY: Okay, now slow.

JESSIE: Oh, that's funny, Bullseye!

WOODY: Hop on, cowgirl! Think fast!

JESSIE: Oh!

WOODY: Not bad.

Record: It's time for Woody's Roundup

He's the very best

He's the rootinest, tootinest cowboy

in the wild, wild west

JESSIE: Oh! Hey, look at us! We're a complete set!

PROSPECTOR: Now it's on to the museum!

WOODY: Museum? What museum?

PROSPECTOR: The museum. We're being sold to the Konishi Toy Museum in Tokyo.

JESSIE: That's in Japan!

WOODY: Japan? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't go to Japan.

JESSIE: What do you mean?

WOODY: I gotta get back home to my owner Andy. Hey, look, look. See?

PROSPECTOR: Who's this Andy chap?

JESSIE: Perhaps he was Woody's former collector.

WOODY: He's the kid who plays with me.

JESSIE: He still has an owner.

PROSPECTOR: Oh, my goodness.

JESSIE: No. Can't go. I can't do storage again. I just can't!

PROSPECTOR: Jessie! Jessie!

JESSIE: I won't go back in the dark!

PROSPECTOR: Plays with? Ghastly!

WOODY: What's 'ghastly' about it? I'm a toy just like you.

PROSPECTOR: A toy? Watch your language! We are not 'toys'. We prefer to be thought of as 'Collectibles'.

WOODY: Uh-huh. And I prefer to think of you as 'loonies.'

PROSPECTOR: Fellas, I don't think he knows he's a collector's item.

WOODY: Wh-What's the matter? What's wrong with her?

PROSPECTOR: Well, we've been in storage for a long time waiting for you.

WOODY: Why me?

PROSPECTOR: The museum's only interested in the collection if you're in it, Woody. Without you, we go back into storage. It's that simple.

JESSIE: It's not fair! How can you do this to us?

WOODY: Hey, look, I'm sorry, but this is all a big mistake. You see, I was in this yard sale...

PROSPECTOR: Yard sale? Why were you in a yard sale if you have an owner?

WOODY: Well, I wasn't supposed to be there. I was trying to save another toy when...

PROSPECTOR: Was it because you're damaged? Hmm? Did this Andy break you?

WOODY: Yeah, but... No! No, no, no! It was... It was an accident. I mean...

JESSIE: Sounds like he really loves you.

WOODY: It's not like that, okay? And I'm not going to any museum!

JESSIE: Well, I'm not going back into storage!

PROSPECTOR: Al's coming! Go! Go on, Jessie!

JESSIE: Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

PROSPECTOR: Jessie, look at me. I promise you'll come out of the box. Now go! Go!

Al: It's showtime! Money, baby. Money, money, money. And now, the main attraction. Oh, no! His arm! Where's his arm? Hurry up. No, no, no! Oh, what are you gonna do? Ooh, I know. I've got it. Come on. Pick up the phone.

GERI: Hello.

Al: It's me! It's Al! I got an emergency here!

GERI: I'm busy.

Al: Yes! Yes! We're all busy. I've got this genuine first edition Woody doll for 1958, with hat. What?! You're watching what? The movie is a videotape. Look, it has to be tonight.

GERI: You've got to be kidding me.

Al: All right, all right! But first thing in the morning.

WOODY: It's gone! I can't believe it! My arm is completely gone!

PROSPECTOR: All right, come here. Come on. Let me see that. Oh, it's just a popped seam. Easily repaired. You should consider yourself lucky.

WOODY: Lucky? Are you shrink-wrapped? I am missing my arm!

JESSIE: Big deal. Let them go. I'm sure his precious Danny was die to play with a one army collectible.

PROSPECTOR: Why, Jessie, you know he wouldn't last an hour on the streets in his condition. It's a dangerous world out there for a toy.

JESSIE: He scuffed his sheen!

PROSPECTOR: Get the buffer!

HAMM: Uh, alright, nobody look 'til I get my cork back in.

BUZZ: Good work, men. Two blocks down and only nineteen more to go.

All: What? Nineteen?

POTATO HEAD: Are we gonna do this all night? My parts are killing me.

BUZZ: Come on, fellas. Did Woody give up when Sid had me strapped to a rocket?

All: No.

BUZZ: No! And did he give up when you threw him out of the back of that moving van?

POTATO HEAD: Oh, you had to bring that up.

BUZZ: No, he didn't! Did Woody give up when Sid has been moving van? We have a friend in need, and we will not rest until it's safe in Andy's room. Now let's move out!

Announcer: And that concludes our broadcast day.

WOODY: Bullseye. Bullseye, go, go, go, go. Oh, come on. You don't wanna help me. I'm the bad guy. You're gonna go back in storage because of me, remember? Now just go. Bullseye... All right, all right. But you have got to keep quiet. Now come on. Over here. Attaboy. Okay, Bullseye, upsy-daisy.

Al: Ah! That tickle.

WOODY: Bullseye, cut it out. Stop it. Stop it, Bullseye. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Phew!

CHORUS: Woody's Roundup

Come on, it's time to play

Al: What? No, officer, I swear! What?

CHORUS: Bullseye is Woody's horse

Man: He's a smart one!

CHORUS: Pete's the old prospector

Al: Oh, get in there. There you go. Cheap case. Where's the remote? Where is the remote?

CHORUS: He's the very best

He's the rootinest, tootinest cowboy

in the wild, wild west

Al: Why don't I put it in the same place every... Oh, there it is.

CHORUS: Woody's Roundup

WOODY: What is your problem? Look, I'm sorry I can't help you guys out. Really, I am. But you didn't have to go and pull a stunt like that.

JESSIE: What, you think I did that?

WOODY: Oh, right, right. Yeah, the TV just happened to turn on, and the remote magically ended up in front of you.

JESSIE: You calling me a liar?

WOODY: Well, if the boot fits.

JESSIE: Say that again.

WOODY: If the boot, fits.

JESSIE: Okay, cowboy. How do you like that? Take it back! Take it back!

WOODY: Don't think just because you're a girl I'm gonna take it easy on you.

PROSPECTOR: Jessie! Woody! You stop this at once! I don't know how that television turned on, but fighting about it isn't helping anything.

WOODY: If I had both my arms.

PROSPECTOR: Woody, don't be a darn fool.

WOODY: The Prospector has good diction, Jess.

PROSPECTOR: Well then, the fact is, I don't, Woody. So I supposed you just wait till morning. A old man will coming, fixing the arm.

WOODY: I'm outta here. Bullseye, where're you going? So you got rid of him. Just that a kid.

JESSIE: Andy, Andy, Andy. That's all he ever talks about.

HAMM: Hey, Buzz, can we slow down? May I remind you that some of us are carrying over six dollars in change.

REX: I can't take anymore of this! I'm allergic to failure! Must rest.

POTATO HEAD: 'Up for a road trip, spud head? It'll be a lot of laughs...'

BUZZ: Is everyone present and accounted for?

POTATO HEAD: Not quite everyone.

BUZZ: Who's behind?

SLINKY: Mine.

BUZZ: Okay, we made a left at Dinoco, then proceeded 2.7 kilometers north. Now, according to this, we should be intersecting a road.

SLINKY: Now what do we do, Buzz?

POTATO HEAD: Don't ask him. He got us into this whole mess. He's blown everything.

SLINKY: Quit picking on Buzz. He's doing the best he can, I think.

BUZZ: No, Potato Head's right. I had no business trying this. I don't even know where we are. Maybe we should turn around...

HAMM: Hey, guys. Why did the toys cross the road?

BUZZ: Not now, Hamm.

REX: Oh, I love riddles. Why?

HAMM: To get to the chicken on the other side.

REX: Al's Toy Barn! Woody! The chicken! Oh, well, we tried.

BUZZ: We'll have to cross.

POTATO HEAD: What the... You're not turning me into a mashed potato.

SLINKY: I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.

BUZZ: There must be a safe way. Okay, here's our chance. Ready, set, go! Drop! Go. Drop! I said drop! Go! Drop! Go! Go!

REX: Buzz!

POTATO HEAD: That went well.

SLINKY: You made it!

HAMM: Close call, there. You could've been a space ranger pancake.

BUZZ: Space ranger? I'm just a toy! What am I doing out here?

REX: Buzz is right. What are we doing out here? Woody's in there!

Al: Oh, thank goodness you're here.

GERI: Is the specimen ready for cleaning?

Al: So, uh, how long is this gonna take?

GERI: You can't rush art.

SLINKY: Oh, no. It's closed.

POTATO HEAD: We're not preschool toys, Slinky. We can read.

Employee: Hey, Joe, you're late. We got a ton of toys to unload in the back.

Joe: All right, all right. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Employee: Come on! Let's get moving!

BUZZ: All right, let's go.

REX: But the sign says it's closed.

BUZZ: No, no, no, no. All together. Now!

REX: Where do we hide? Where do we hide?

SLINKY: What do you mean, 'where do we hide?' It's a toy store! Whoa, Nelly. How are we gonna find Woody in this place? This place is giving me the willies.

REX: You think Woody's up there? I hope we don't have to open all those boxes.

BUZZ: Look for Al. We find Al, we find Woody. Now move out.

HAMM: Woody!

POTATO HEAD: Woody!

GERI: There you go. He's for display only. You handle him too much, he's not gonna last.

Al: It's amazing! You're a genius! He's just like new!

BUZZ: Wow. I could use one of those.

REX: You know, they make it so you can't defeat Zurg unless you buy this book. It's extortion, that's what it is. Hey, I always thought the golden sceptre was the only...

HAMM: I thought we could search in style.

POTATO HEAD: Nice going there, Hamm. So how about letting a toy with fingers drive?

BUZZ: Am I really that fat?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Halt!

BUZZ: Hyah!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: You're in direct violation of code zero section seven dash B, stating all space rangers are to be in hyper-sleep until awakened by authorized personnel.

BUZZ: Oh, no.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: You're breaking ranks, ranger. You could jeopardize the entire mission. Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building, a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness.

BUZZ: Friend, let me share a little secret you. Space ranger, you're not a space ranger. You're a toy.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: You've been brainwashed by agents of Zurg!

BUZZ: Our wings, they're plastic. And our 'lasers'...

ULTIMATE BUZZ (VOICE BOX): There's a secret mission in uncharted space. Let's go!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Has your mind been melded? You could've killed me, space ranger. Or should I say 'traitor'? Buzz Lightyear to Star Command. I've got an AWOL space ranger. Why don't they answer?

BUZZ: I don't have time for this.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Halt! I order you to halt!

BUZZ: Listen to me. Listen. Wait, wait, wait.

SLINKY: We've been down this aisle already.

POTATO HEAD: We've never been down this aisle. It's pink!

SLINKY: Face it, we're lost.

HAMM: Ooh! Back it up, back it up.

Barbie: What a great party!

Limboing Barbies: How low can you go? How low can you go? Stop splashing me!

HAMM: Excuse me, ladies. Does anyone know where we might find the Al of Al's Toy Barn?

TOUR GUIDE BARBIE: I can help. I'm Tour Guide Barbie. Please keep your hands, arms and accessories inside the car, and no flash photography. Thank you.

POTATO HEAD: I'm a married spud. I'm a married spud. I'm a married spud.

HAMM: Then make room for the single fellas.

TOUR GUIDE BARBIE: To our right is the Hot Wheels aisle. Developed in 1967, the original series had sixteen cars, including the Corvette.

SLINKY: Uh, beg your pardon, Ma'am, but where's Al's office?

TOUR GUIDE BARBIE: Please hold all questions until the end of the tour. Thank you!

REX: It says how you defeat Zurg! Look!

POTATO HEAD: Get this outta here, 'geekosaur.'

TOUR GUIDE BARBIE: Excuse me, sir!

POTATO HEAD: Look out!

HAMM: Oh, stop, stop, stop! Turn into the spin, Barbie!

REX: My source of power! No! Come back! Hey! Wait up! Hey! Come on! Slow down! Dinosaur overboard! Slow down...

TOUR GUIDE BARBIE: Remain seated, please! Permanecer sentados, por favor!

BUZZ: Ow! Listen to me! Listen to me! You're not really a space ranger! You're a toy! We're all toys! Do you hear me?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Well, you're coming with me for court marshal!

BUZZ: Let me go! You don't realize what you're doing!

TOUR GUIDE BARBIE: And this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle. Back in 1995, shortsighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand.

HAMM: Hey, Buzz!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Halt! Who goes there?

POTATO HEAD: Quit clowning around and get in the car.

REX: Buzz! Buzz! I know how to defeat Zurg!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: You do?

REX: Come on. I'll tell you on the way.

BUZZ: No, no, guys! You've got the wrong Buzz! You've got the wrong Buzz!

HAMM: Say, where'd you get the cool belt, Super Buzzio?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Well, slotted pig, they're standard issue.

BUZZ: No! No!

Al: It's like printing my own money. Yeah, what?

Konishi: Al McWhiggin.

Al: Oh, Mr. Konishi. Yes, uh, I have the pictures right here. In fact, I'm in the car right now on my way to the office to fax them to you. I'm going through a tunnel! I'm breaking up!

WOODY: Oh, wow, will you look at me? It's like I'm fresh out of the box! Look at this stitching. Andy's gonna have a hard time ripping this. Hello! Hi! Hello!

JESSIE: Great. Now you can go.

WOODY: Well, what a good idea.

PROSPECTOR: Woody, don't be mad at Jessie.

WOODY: You mean my friends?

PROSPECTOR: Woody, old bean, those tasteless trinkets obviously didn't appreciate the value of a true antique like yourself...

WOODY: Don't call me that!

PROSPECTOR: What? Antique? Why, you say that like it's a bad thing! The Mona Lisa and Ming vases are antiques. People treasure them!

WOODY: Andy treasured me.

PROSPECTOR: How quaint. That's what Bullseye thought. She's been through more than you know. Why not make amends before you leave, huh? It's the least you can do.

WOODY: All right. But I don't know what good it'll do. Hey, what you doing way up here?

JESSIE: I thought I'd get one last look at the sun before I get packed away again.

WOODY: Look, Jessie, I know you hate me for leaving, but I have to go back. I'm still Andy's toy. Well, if you knew him, you'd understand. You see, Andy's...

JESSIE: Let me guess. Andy's a real special kid, and to him you're his buddy, his best friend, and when Andy plays with you it's like, even though you're not moving, you feel like you're alive, because that's how he sees you.

WOODY: How did you know that?

JESSIE: Because Emily was just the same. She was my whole world.

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

And when she was sad

I was there to dry her tears

And when she was happy

So was I

When she

Loved me

Through the summer and the fall

We had each other

That was all

Just she and I together

Like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely

I was there to comfort her

And I knew that

She loved me

So the years went by

I stayed the same

But she began to drift away

I was left alone

Still, I waited for the day

When she'd say

I will always love you

Lonely and forgotten

Never thought she'd look my way

But she smiled at me

and held me

Just like she used to do

Like she loved me

When she loved me

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

When she

Loved me

JESSIE: You never forget kids like Emily or Andy but they forget you.

WOODY: Jessie, I didn't know.

JESSIE: Just go.

PROSPECTOR: How long will it last, Woody? Do you really think Andy is going to take you to college, or on his honeymoon? Andy's growing up, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's your choice, Woody. You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever. You'll be adored by children for generations.

WOODY: Who am I to break up the Roundup gang?

HAMM: Hey, Woody, are you in here?

POTATO HEAD: Nah. This one's empty too.

SLINKY: Woody!

POTATO HEAD: Woody!

HAMM: Woody!

SLINKY: Pardon me, gentlemen, but have either of you seen a cowboy doll with a bad arm?

Blue Robot: Why, no, I haven't.

Red Robot: Hey! He was talking to me!

Blue Robot: No, he was talking to me!

Red Robot: Why, you... I'll...

Blue Robot: You fool!

REX: You see, all along we thought the way into Zurg's fortress was through the main gate. But in fact, the secret entrance is to the left, hidden in the shadows.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: To the left and in the shadows. Got it.

SLINKY: Someone's coming.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Everyone take cover.

Al: No, it was a big pile-up, but I don't want to bore you with the details. Yes. Now, let me confirm your fax number.

Konishi: 011.

Al: 011. Wait. Slow. That's a lot of numbers. No, I got it.

SLINKY: It's him.

HAMM: The chicken man.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Funny, he doesn't look like poultry.

SLINKY: That's the kidnapper, all right.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: A kidnapper. An agent of Zurg if I ever saw one.

Al: And the pièce de résistance. I promise the collection will be the crown jewel of your museum.

SLINKY: It's Woody. He doesn't live here! Woody's miles away!

REX: I bet he's in there with Woody playing cowboys and Indians.

Al: Now that I have your attention, imagine we added another zero to the price, huh? What?

Konishi: I pay anything you want. Anything.

Al: Yes! Yes! You got a deal! I'll be on the next flight to Japan!

REX: Let's kidnap Al! Give him a taste of his own medicine!

HAMM: We can't use that. Get rid of it.

REX: But it's so pretty!

POTATO HEAD: Shh, I've got it all figured out. We get into that bag, and I bet tubby brings us right home to Woody! Any problems with my plan, Buzz?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Quick, get into the poultry man's cargo unit. He'll lead us to Zurg. Move, move, move.

Al: Don't touch my mustache! Rich, rich, rich! Gotta get those doors fixed.

REX: Wow, Buzz, what happened to you?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: You don't want to know. Let's go get Woody!

BUZZ: Rex! No! Come on, come on. Huh?

ZURG: Destroy Buzz Lightyear! Destroy Buzz Lightyear! Destroy Buzz Lightyear! Destroy Buzz Lightyear!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Rex! You're fogging up my helmet!

REX: I can't help it. The walls of the bag are closing in!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: What can you make out?

POTATO HEAD: It's either the side of a hill, or Al's pants. Alright, boys, this is it. Any second now he'll grab us and take us right to Woody. No need to thank me now for my brilliant plan. Man, did old Potato Head fool this sucker! Here we go. Yep any minute now.

HAMM: He's gone, isn't he.

POTATO HEAD: He'll be back!

REX: He didn't take the bag! He's going to his apartment.

SLINKY: Certainly is a small place.

HAMM: You idiot, that's the elevator!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: No time to lose! He's ascending in the vertical transporter.

SLINKY: Of course, a toynapper would have to live on the top floor, for protection.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: All right, everyone, hang on. We're gonna blast through the roof.

REX: Uh, Buzz?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: To infinity and beyond!

POTATO HEAD: What are you, insane? We're wasting time. Stand still, Godzilla.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: I don't understand. Somehow my fuel cells have gone dry. Blast! He's on level twenty three.

SLINKY: How are we gonna get up there?

REX: Maybe if we find some balloons we could float to the top.

POTATO HEAD: Are you kidding? I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom and pretend we're delivering a pizza.

HAMM: How about a ham sandwich, with fries and a hot dog?

REX: What about me?

HAMM: You can be the toy that comes with the meal.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Troops, over here! Just like you said, lizard man, 'in the shadows to the left.' Okay, let's move! Mission log. Have infiltrated enemy territory without detection, and are making our way through the bowels of Zurg's fortress.

HAMM: You know, I think that Buzz aisle went to his head.

SLINKY: Oh, no. Which way do we go?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: This way.

POTATO HEAD: What makes you so sure?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: I'm Buzz Lightyear. I'm always sure. We've been detected. The walls! They're closing in! Quick, help me prop up vegetable man, or we're done for!

POTATO HEAD: Hey! Put me down, you moron.

REX: Hey, guys, look! It's not the walls! It's the elevator!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Come on. We've got no time to lose. Everyone, grab hold!

HAMM: What?

SLINKY: Huh?

HAMM: Uh, Buzz, why not just take the elevator?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: They'll be expecting that.

REX: Hey, Buzz! Stop! Slow down!

Al: To overnight six packages to Japan is how much? What? That's in yen, right? Dollars! Oh! You are deliberately taking advantage of people in a hurry. You know that? All right, I don't, I don't, I. Look, I'm, I'll do it! All right, fine! I'll have the stuff waiting in the lobby, and you'd better be here in fifteen minutes, because I have a plane to catch, do you hear me?

JESSIE: Whoo-hoo! We're finally going! Can you believe it?

PROSPECTOR: That's custom-fitted foam insulation you'll be riding in, Bullseye. First class all the way.

WOODY: You know what? I'm actually excited about this. I mean it. I really am.

PROSPECTOR: And why shouldn't you be?

JESSIE: Yee-hah! Swing your partner, do-si-do Look at you, dancing cowboy!

PROSPECTOR: Look! I'm doing the box step.

HAMM: Uh-oh. Hey, heads up down there.

SLINKY: Whoa! Pork bellies are falling.

POTATO HEAD: Hey! How much far are you, Buzz?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Halfway there.

REX: His arms can't hold it much longest, Buzz!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Too, heavy. What am I thinking? My anti-gravity servos! Hang tight, everyone, I'm going to let go of the wall.

REX: What?

POTATO HEAD: He wouldn't.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: One.

HAMM: He would.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Two.

Toys: No, don't, Buzz! Let's think about this!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Three! To infinity and beyond! Approaching destination. Reengaging gravity. Area secure. It's okay, men. The anti-gravity sickness will wear off momentarily. Now, let's move out.

POTATO HEAD: Remind me to glue his helmet shut when it the dark.

WOODY: How about giving me a little intro there, Jessie?

JESSIE: Introducing the high-ridinest cowboy around...

WOODY: You forgot 'rootinest tootinest.' So then he says, 'How dare you open a spaceman's helmet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets.'

JESSIE: The high-ridin'-est, rootin'-tootin'-est cowboy hero of all time, Sheriff Woody!

WOODY: Say, little missy, you notice any trouble around these parts?

JESSIE: Nary a bit, not with Sheriff Woody around.

WOODY: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I got it! I got it! This is great! Okay! The bandits got the critters tied up in the burning barn, and now for the best part! Help us! The barn's on fire! I've got ya, critters. No need to worry. Woody saves the day again!

JESSIE: Someone want...

PROSPECTOR: Jessie, stop singing. Stop it! Leave the guitar alone.

WOODY: Why not.

PROSPECTOR: Because I said so.

JESSIE: Yee-hah!

WOODY: Now, where's my trusty steed Bullseye? They're just not like us.

PROSPECTOR: But a few days ago you said...

WOODY: Don't be such a pill. I have to ride off into the sunset... Ride like the wind, Bullseye! Watch it. Wait, wait. I'm ticklish, okay?

JESSIE: There you are?

WOODY: Oh, no, no. Hey, stop it. Stop it, stop it. Oh, please. Please! Let him go! No! Stop it! Stop it!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Mission log. Have reached Zurg's command deck. But no sign of him or his wooden captive.

WOODY: Oh, please! No!

SLINKY: That's Woody!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: This way!

WOODY: Oh, please! No, no, no!

POTATO HEAD: Buzz, can you see it? What's going on?

WOODY: I'm begging you!

JESSIE: Take that!

WOODY: I'm begging you! No more!

POTATO HEAD: To the left.

JESSIE: Take that!

POTATO HEAD: No, your left.

WOODY: Oh, please! You're killing me!

POTATO HEAD: Take it up higher.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: What's happening?

POTATO HEAD: Oh, it's horrible. They're torturing him.

REX: What are we gonna do, Buzz?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Use your head!

REX: But I don't wanna use my head!

PROSPECTOR: Know what's going on?

WOODY: Buzz, guys! Hey, how did you find me?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Watch yourself! Halt! Who goes there?

WOODY: Isn't that right, Buzz?

POTATO HEAD: The spud are my taters, and then the mashed potato are angry!

WOODY: Buzz!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Woody!

PROSPECTOR: He came? He actually come.

HAMM: You heard of kung fu? Well, then, get ready for pork chop.

JESSIE: Stop it, right there! You leave him alone, springy dog! Whoa!

SLINKY: Grab Woody and let's go!

WOODY: Fellas, hold it! Buzz, put me down!

REX: Quick! To the vent!

JESSIE: They're stealing him!

PROSPECTOR: No!

BUZZ: Hold it right there!

All: Buzz?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: You again!

BUZZ: Woody! Thank goodness you're all right.

WOODY: Buzz, what's going on?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Hold on. I am Buzz Lightyear, and I'm in charge of this detachment.

BUZZ: No! I'm Buzz Lightyear.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: I am Buzz Lightyear!

BUZZ: I'm Buzz Lightyear!

WOODY: So, who's the real Buzz?

BUZZ & ULTIMATE BUZZ: I am!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Don't let this impostor fool you! He's been trained by Zurg himself to mimic my every move.

All: Buzz!

SLINKY: I had a feeling it was you, Buzz. My front end just had to catch up with my back end.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Will somebody please explain what's going on?

BUZZ: It's all right, space ranger. It's a code 546.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: You mean it's a...

BUZZ: Yes.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: And it's a...

BUZZ: Oh, yeah.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Your Majesty.

BUZZ: Woody, you're in danger here. We need to leave now.

REX: Al's selling you to a toy museum in Japan!

WOODY: I know. It's okay, Buzz. I actually wanna go.

REX: What?

HAMM: Are you crazy?

WOODY: Look, the thing is, I'm a rare Sheriff Woody doll, and these guys are my Roundup gang.

BUZZ: Woody, what are you talking about?

WOODY: What am I talking about? Woody's Roundup! Oh, it's this great old TV show, and I was the star. See? Now, look. Look! Look at me! See? It's me!

HAMM: This is weirding me out.

WOODY: Buzz, it was a national phenomenon. And there was all this merchandise that just got packed up. Oh, you should've seen it.

BUZZ: Enough! That's the enemy of defeat Zurg.

WOODY: Come on, guys! There was a record player and a yo-yo... Buzz, I was a yo-yo!

POTATO HEAD: Was?

PROSPECTOR: Charmed.

JESSIE: You must be Buzz Lightweight. One of Woodrow's friends from the 'burbs.

PROSPECTOR: How cute. A battery-operated plastic robot.

BUZZ: I believe you mean a self-powered poseable space ranger action figure. Watch.

BUZZ (VOICE BOX): Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!

JESSIE: Why, how, mildly amusing! So tell me, boy, how much are you worth?

BUZZ: Worth? I don't follow you...

PROSPECTOR: Check the price guide. Stand back, boy. You're getting bird roughage on Woodrow.

BUZZ: Woody, I've come to...

WOODY: Buzz, you're making a spectacle.

JESSIE: He isn't even in the price guide! Who is this imposter?!

BUZZ: I told you, I'm Woody's best friend.

WOODY: Well, actually. We just sort of 'worked together.'

BUZZ: Of course you're my best friend. We've been through so much! Remember Pizza Planet?!

PROSPECTOR: Pizza Planet? Sounds like a four star establishment.

BUZZ: If I didn't know better, I'd say you're ridiculing me.

PROSPECTOR: That's okay, Mister Lightfinger, I'm sure you don't know better!

BUZZ: You are the strangest toys I've ever seen. Woody, I come to liberate you from the clutches of...

WOODY: Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, you really should've called first.

BUZZ: What are you talking about?

WOODY: Look around, who would want to leave all this?

BUZZ: All this junk? Come on, let's go home.

WOODY: I am home! I've grown up. I'm a collector's item now. I've graduated to a whole new plane of existence!

BUZZ: Enough! Woody, I'm taking you back to Andy's.

WOODY: Oh, sure! And while you're at it, why not use the Hope Diamond for a game of marbles?! Why not write your shopping list on the Mona Lisa?! Why not install track lighting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?! I mean, think of the thousands of people who'll miss out on seeing 'Woody's Roundup' together again! Think of the lost to world culture! For once in your life, Buzz, think of something other than yourself!

BUZZ: Woody, you're not a piece of art. You're a child's plaything. You are a toy!

WOODY: For how much longer? One more rip, and Andy's done with me. And what do I do then, Buzz? Huh? You tell me.

BUZZ: Somewhere in that pad of stuffing is a toy who taught me, that life's only worth living if you're being loved by a kid. And I travelled all this way to rescue that toy, because I believed him.

WOODY: Well, you wasted your time.

BUZZ: Let's go, everyone.

SLINKY: What about Woody?

BUZZ: He's not coming with us.

REX: But Andy's coming home tonight.

BUZZ: Then we'd better make sure we're there waiting for him.

WOODY: I don't have a choice, Buzz. This is my only chance.

BUZZ: To do what, Woody? Watch kids from behind glass and never be loved again? Some life.

WOODY (TV): Is everybody okay?

JESSIE (TV): Sheriff Woody! I knew you'd make it!

WOODY (TV): Now, remember, deputies, the real treasures are your friends and family. Before I go, kids, I want to share something special with you, for the times when I'm not around.

PROSPECTOR: Good going, Woody! I thought they'd never leave.

WOODY (TV): You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

PROSPECTOR: Woody?

WOODY (TV): You've got troubles

Well, I've got 'em too

There isn't anything

I wouldn't do

We stick together

and see it through 'cause

You got a friend in me

Some other folks might

be a little bit smarter than I am

Bigger and stronger too

Maybe.

But none of them will

ever love you

The way I do

It's me and you, boy

And as the years go by

Our friendship will never die

WOODY: What am I doing?

WOODY (TV): You're gonna see it's our destiny

WOODY: Buzz! Wait! Wait!

PROSPECTOR: Woody, where are you going?

WOODY: You're right, Prospector. I can't stop Andy from growing up. But I wouldn't miss it for the world.

PROSPECTOR: No!

WOODY: Buzz!

BUZZ: Yes?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Yes?

WOODY: I'm coming with you! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'll be back in just a second.

POTATO HEAD: What's going on up there? I can't see in the dark...

WOODY: Guys! Guys! How did you...

POTATO HEAD: Found an open heating vent in the hallway. Clever, huh?

SLINKY: We're here to rescue you!

WOODY: You came all the way here for me?!

BUZZ: Way to go, cowboy!

WOODY: Hey, you guys. Come with me.

JESSIE: What?!

WOODY: Andy will play with all of us. I know it!

JESSIE: Woody, I don't know.

WOODY: Wouldn't you give anything just to have one more day with Emily? Come on, Jessie. This is what it's all about: To make a child happy. And you know it. Bullseye, are you with me? Okay, good boy. Prospector, how about you?

JESSIE: Prospector!

WOODY: You're out of your box!

PROSPECTOR: I tried reasoning with you, Woody... but you keep forcing me to take extreme measures.

WOODY: Hey, wait a minute. You turned on the TV last night, not Jessie.

PROSPECTOR: Look, we have an eternity to spend together on his museum. We're not start off by pointing fingers, shall we?

WOODY: You really are Stinky Pete, aren't you?

JESSIE: Prospector, this isn't fair.

PROSPECTOR: Fair? I'll tell you what's not fair! Spending a lifetime on a dime-store shelf watching every other toy be sold.

WOODY: He did it! Turn me around, are you.

PROSPECTOR: We don't worry in the old man lives, or disgusted.

JESSIE: You've changed. I liked the old Woody better.

PROSPECTOR: Well, finally, my waiting has paid off, and no hand-me-down cowboy doll, is gonna mess it up for me now!

WOODY: Buzz! Help, Buzz! Guys!

PROSPECTOR: It's too late, Woody. That silly Buzz Lightweight can't help you.

WOODY: His name is Buzz Lightyear.

PROSPECTOR: Whatever. I've always hated those upstart space toys.

WOODY: It's stuck! What do we do?

REX: Should I use my head?

WOODY: It's Al!

Al: Look at the time. I'm gonna be late! Oh, figures. I can't miss this flight! I've gotta pack. Alright. Let's see. Uh, wallet, keys, tickets, uh, passport, beef jerky... very expensive over there. Shower! I can skip the shower. I gotta go! I'm going to Tokyo. I'm going to the airport.

BUZZ: Quick! To the elevator! Hurry, I can hear it coming.

ZURG: Curses! Crashed landed on a hostile planet! So, we meet again, Buzz Lightyear, for the last time.

REX: Aah!

REX & ULTIMATE BUZZ: It's Zurg!

REX: Look out! He's got a Zurgotronic Ion Blaster!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Take cover!

BUZZ: Quick! Get on! The emergency hatch! Come on! Come on! Hurry!

REX: But Buzz is in peril!

ULTIMATE BUZZ (VOICE BOX): Buzz! Buzz! Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!

ZURG: Surrender, Buzz Lightyear. I have won.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: I'll never give in. You killed my father!

ZURG: No, Buzz. I am your father.

ULTIMATE BUZZ: No!

Al: Hmm. Come on! Come on! Come on!

REX: Hey! That wasn't so bad. Buzz, you can have defeated Zurg all along! You just need to believe in yourself!

ZURG: I've got you now, Lightyear. Prepare to die!

REX: I can't look!

ZURG: Whoa! Whoa! No!

REX: I did it. I finally defeated Zurg!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Father.

Al: Ah, finally!

REX: How are we gonna get him now?

POTATO HEAD: Pizza, anyone?

BUZZ: Go, go, go!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: I got it!

BUZZ: Buzz, are you coming?

ULTIMATE BUZZ: No, I have a lot of catching up to do with my dad.

ZURG: Good throw, son. That's my boy. Go long, Buzzy!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Oh, you're a great dad. Yippee!

BUZZ: Farewell.

REX: Does anyone know how to drive?

HAMM: This guy's got everything!

BUZZ: All right, everybody, listen up. Rex, you navigate. Hamm and Potato, operate the levers and knobs. Slink, take the pedals.

HAMM: How do you work this?

BUZZ: It's like the video game. Fire thrusters! Full throttle!

SLINKY: Whoa.

SQUEEZE TOY ALIENS: Oooooooooh.

ALIEN #1: Strangers.

ALIEN #2: From the outside.

BUZZ: Oh, no.

REX: He's at a red light! We can catch him!

BUZZ: Maximum power, Slink!

REX: Aah! It turned green! Hurry!

BUZZ: Why won't it go?

ALIENS: Use the wand of power.

HAMM: Ooh! Ow! Oh!

BUZZ: Rex, which way?

REX: Make a left! No, no! I mean right! That's right! No, I mean left! Left is right! Buzz, he's turning left! He's turning left!

HAMM: I can't control it!

BUZZ: Of course you can. It's just like driving RC!

ALIENS: Oh, oh, boy! Whoa!

HAMM: Oh, I seriously doubt he's getting this kind of mileage.

REX: Go right! To the right! Right, right, right, right!

ALIENS: Whoa! You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.

POTATO HEAD: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.

PA Announcement: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading... No parking.

REX: Guys, we can't park here! It's a white zone!

ALIENS: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.

PA Announcement: Final boarding call for Far East Airlines...

BUZZ: There it is!

PA Announcement: ...flight 451 to Tokyo. All confirmed passengers with boarding passes must board at this time. Passenger Twitch, passenger Leon Twitch, please pick up...

ALIENS: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.

POTATO HEAD: Can you just leave me alone?

REX: Someone's coming!

Girl: Ooh, a puppy!

SLINKY: Bark-bark-bark-bark. Bark, bark-bark-bark-bark-bark.

Al: Listen, flyboy, the contents of that case are worth more than you make in a year! You got that, sport? You be careful!

Officer: I understand, sir.

Al: Do you have a fragile sticker or something?

Officer: Don't worry, sir.

Al: Because I know what goes on back there, I had a box of cookies once that came back as crumbs!

ALIEN #3: The Mystic Portal!

ALIENS: Oooooooooh.

BUZZ: Once we go through, we just need to find that case.

SLINKY: Ow! There's the case!

HAMM: No, there's the case!

BUZZ: You take that one! We'll take this one!

SLINKY: Whoa! Buzz! Buzz! My back end's going to Baton Rouge!

BUZZ: Slinky!

HAMM: Here we come, Woody!

POTATO HEAD: Woody, here we come!

REX: Woody!

HAMM: Nice flash, though.

BUZZ: Okay, Woody, let's go!

PROSPECTOR: Take that, space toy!

WOODY: Hey! No one does that to my friend!

PROSPECTOR: What a workout. I'm simply exhausted!

WOODY: Crawl back to your boxes, you've already lost. You want to know why? Because... I am worthless!

PROSPECTOR: You, you.

WOODY: Toy? That's right.

PROSPECTOR: This will undoubtedly scuff me, but it'll be worth it! Toss him off the bridge. Your choice, Woody. You can go to Japan together or in pieces. If he fixed ya once, he can fix ya again. Now, get in the box!

WOODY: Never!

PROSPECTOR: Fine! No! Aah!

BUZZ: Gotcha!

PROSPECTOR: Idiots! Children destroy toys! You'll all be ruined, forgotten! Spending eternity rotting in some landfill!

WOODY: Well, Stinky Pete, I think it's time you learned the true meaning of playtime. Right over there, guys!

PROSPECTOR: No. No! No!

PA Announcement: Atlantic Air flight eight is now arriving at...

Amy: Look, Barbie, a big ugly man doll! Ooh, he needs a makeover.

Barbie: Hi! You'll like Amy. She's an artist!

Mother: Come on, hon!

WOODY: Happy trails, Prospector.

SLINKY: Buzz! Woody!

HAMM: Help us out here!

REX: Hurry!

WOODY: Oh, no! Jessie! Come on!

JESSIE: Oh, Woody! Oh!

WOODY: Jessie! Come on, Buzz. Hyah! Ride like the wind, Bullseye! Hey howdy hey! Giddy-up!

BUZZ: Come on, Bullseye! Hyah!

WOODY: Buzz, give me a boost! Oh! Oh! Oh!

BUZZ: Woody!

Carrier: Here's the rest!

WOODY: Ah! Excuse me, Ma'am, but I believe you're on the wrong flight.

JESSIE: Woody!

WOODY: Come on, Jess. It's time to take you home.

JESSIE: But what if Andy doesn't like me?

WOODY: Nonsense! Andy'll love you! Besides, he's got a little sister.

JESSIE: He does? Why didn't you say so? Let's go!

WOODY: Whoa!

Handler: Hold it! There's a couple more bags coming from the terminal!

WOODY: Okay. On three. One! Two!

Handler: Too late! Put 'em on the next flight!

WOODY: This is bad.

JESSIE: How are we gonna get outta here?

WOODY: Over there! Come on!

JESSIE: You sure about this?

WOODY: No! Let's go!

JESSIE: Hold on, Woody!

BUZZ: What's a cowboy without his hat?

WOODY: Buzz! Buzz! Buzz, get behind the tires! Jessie, let go of the plane!

JESSIE: What? Are you crazy?

WOODY: Just pretend it's the final episode of Woody's Roundup.

JESSIE: But it was cancelled! We never saw if you made it!

WOODY: Well, then, let's find out together! Oh-oh-oh!

JESSIE: We did it! We did it!

BUZZ: Nice roping, cowboy.

JESSIE: That was definitely Woody's finest hour!

BUZZ: Your hat, partner.

WOODY: Hoo-hoo! Let's... go home.

HAMM: Way ahead of you, cowboy.

POTATO HEAD: So are they these collectibles.

BUZZ: All right, everybody, listen up. Rex, you navigate. Hamm, take the pedals. Slink, operate the levers and knobs. Potato, good a radio station. Me, Woody, and Jess drive us all go home.

WOODY: Right!

BUZZ: Left!

SLINKY: Guys, which one is it?

JESSIE: This one!

SLINKY: How do we stop this thing?!

REX: Pass. Depart. Nothing. Return!

BUZZ: Perfect landing.

WOODY: Andy's! Hello, you beautiful house! Bullseye, you're gonna love it here...

SLINKY: Woody, Andy's coming home!

WOODY: Andy?! Come on, Bulls!

BUZZ: Need a ride, sheriff?

WOODY: Uh-um... Hi-yo, Bullseye!

Sergeant: Red alert! Red alert! Incoming toys! It's Woody! Operation rescue bucket! Code red! Move it! Welcome home, sir!

WOODY: Sarge? Sarge! Great idea!

ANDY: ...and we made smores and sang songs. Can I go back next week?

ANDY'S MOM: We'll see, sweetie.

ANDY: Yee-hah!

Sergeant: Mother bird's returning to the nest!

BO PEEP: Did Buzz give you my message, sheriff?

WOODY: What message? Thank you, Buzz!

ANDY: Hey, Woody! Woody? Oh, wow! New toys! Cool! Thanks, Mom!

ANDY'S MOM: You bet, Andy.

ANDY: It's Bazooka Jane and her jet-propelled horse! Woody, Buzz, that polecat Zurg has stolen my space cows!

BUZZ (VOICE BOX): There's a secret mission in uncharted space. Let's go!

WOODY (VOICE BOX): Yee-haw! You're my favorite deputy!

ANDY'S MOM: Andy, stop singing and come on, hon. Time to go. Hey, you fixed Woody!

ANDY: Yeah. Glad I decided not to take him to camp. His whole arm might have come off.

WOODY: Well, what do you know?

JESSIE: Yee-hah! Oh, Bullseye, we're part of a family again!

BUZZ: Uh, Ma'am, I, uh, um... Well, I just wanted to say, you're a bright young woman with a beautiful 'yarnful' of hair. A 'hairful' of yarn. It's, uh... Whoo... Uh... I must go.

JESSIE: Well, aren't you the sweetest space toy I ever met?

SLINKY: What's that? Bark-bark? Uh, this fella says he needs to go out back for a little private time.

JESSIE: That critter needs help! Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!

HAMM: Ooh, ooh, oh... Hey, Rex, I could use a hand over here, buddy.

REX: I don't need to play! I've lived it!

HAMM: No, no, no, no! Oh, nuts!

Al: Welcome to Al's Toy Barn. We've got the lowest prices in town. Everything for a buck-buck-buck.

HAMM: Well, I guess crime doesn't pay.

WOODY: Oh, Andy did a great job, huh? Nice and strong!

BO PEEP: I like it. Makes you look, tough.

ALIENS: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.

MRS. POTATO HEAD: You saved their lives? Oh, my hero! And they're so adorable! Let's adopt them!

ALIENS: Daddy.

POTATO HEAD: Oh, no.

WOODY: Wheezy, you're fixed!

WHEEZY: Oh, yeah. Mr. Shark looked in the toybox and found me an extra squeaker.

WOODY: And how do you feel?

WHEEZY: Oh, I feel swell. In fact, I think I feel a song coming on.

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

You just remember what your old pal said

Babe, you've got a friend in me

Yeah, you've got a friend in me

ANDY'S MOM: Come on over. Oh, you are such a big girl. Andy, you think she's ready to drive the car yet?

ANDY: Yeah, and I can teach her.

BUZZ: You still worried?

WOODY: About Andy? Nah, it'll be fun while it lasts.

BUZZ: I'm proud of you, cowboy.

WOODY: Besides, when it all ends, I'll have old Buzz Lightyear, to keep me company for infinity and beyond.

WHEEZY & Barbies: You're gonna see it's our destiny

You got a friend in me

Barbies: Yes, you do

WHEEZY & Barbies: You've got a friend in me

Barbies: That's the truth

WHEEZY & Barbies: You've got a friend in me

WHEEZY: Yeah!

Cameraman: Speed. Marker.

Director: And action.

WOODY: Okay. A little help here, please?

REX: What are we gonna do, Buzz?!

ULTIMATE BUZZ: Use your head!

REX: But I don't wanna use my head! Ow!

Cameraman: Speed. Marker.

Director: Okay, and pull back.

Buzz #1: Whew! I don't remember eating that.

Director: Cut.

Buzz #2: I can't believe this.

Buzz #3: That's the fifth time.

Buzz #4: What box was that guy in?

Buzz #1: I'm sorry, everyone, I had that bean burrito for lunch. Okay, I'm all right now. Sorry.

Director: And action.

MRS. POTATO HEAD: I'm packing you an extra pair of shoes and your angry eyes just in case. And if you get hungry, here's some cheese puffs and a key. I don't know what it's for, but you never know.

Cameraman: Speed. Marker.

Director: And action.

JESSIE: Can. Should that be part of the movie now? He lost his string.

MRS. POTATO HEAD: And a golf ball if you have time for golf. And a plastic steak and a rubber ducky and a yoyo.

BUZZ: Who's behind?

SLINKY: Mine.

Director: Alright, cut. Good take.

SLINKY: What good acting. That was a good take. You are such a cute little bottom. Look at you, look at you, look at you.

WHEEZY: In fact, I think I feel a song coming on! Whoa! Oh! Mr. Mike, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt your equipment? You gotta aim it right here at my flipper. I'm not a very good catch. Okay, I'm ready for another take.

Director: Okay, let's go again.

WHEEZY: Oh, no! Oh, no, I think I swallowed my squeaking me!

MRS. POTATO HEAD: And an extra bouncy bouncy ball. And some extra teeth. Be careful. They chatter.

POTATO HEAD: Whoa!

Cameraman: Marker.

Director: And action.

BUZZ: We'll be back before Andy gets home. What? What is it? What are you laughing about? Huh? Real funny, Woody.

Director: Alright, we're losing our light. Wipe it off and let's go again.

BUZZ: What? What is so funny? Woody! Huh? Darn it, Woody!

Cameraman: Okay, let's go again.

MRS. POTATO HEAD: And crayons, in case you get bored, and some blue play doh.

Flik: Isn't this exciting, Heimlich? Our first day of shooting.

Heimlich: Oh, yeah, yeah, it's so exciting!

Flik: You know, I can't believe you talked them into making A Bug's Life 2!

Heimlich: Oh, oh, yeah, I can hardly believe it also. Oh, but there's a little baby tiny thing I forgot to tell you.

Flik: Who's that, Heimlich?

Heimlich: Well you know, it's a '2' movie, but it's not A Bug's Life 2.

Flik: What? I don't understand. What is it then?

Director: And action!

Cameraman: Marker.

Director: And action.

WOODY: Bullseye, are you with me? Okay, good boy. Prospector, how about you?

PROSPECTOR: And so, you two are absolutely identical? You know, I'm sure I can get you a part in Toy Story 3. I'm sorry, are we back? Alright, ladies. Lovely talking with you. Yes. Any time you'd like some tips on acting, I'd be glad to chat with you. Alright, off you go then.

Cameraman: Speed. Wait, wait, wait. Let me check focus.

ALIEN #1: So, did you make it into the first Toy Story?

ALIEN #2: Well, if you look in the letterbox copy, you can see my arm grabbing Woody's ankle.

ALIEN #3: What will you do next?

ALIEN #2: Well, then, I'm up for this villain in a toothpaste commercial.

ALIEN #3: Really?

ALIEN #1: Wow, that's so great.

MRS. POTATO HEAD: And a dime, call me, and monkey chow.

POTATO HEAD: Monkey chow!? For what?!

MRS. POTATO HEAD: Well, then, for the monkeys, of course! Come on, monkeys!

POTATO HEAD: That's it! I draw the line at monkeys. Get off my agent on a phone!

Cameraman: Marker.

Director: And action.

PROSPECTOR: It's your choice, Woody. You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever. Good heavens. What was that me? Oh, my, gosh. I'm so sorry. I guess it's why they call me Stinky Pete. Whoo!

Director: Okay, let's cut.

TOUR GUIDE BARBIE: We are so glad you came. Goodbye, bye-bye, bye-bye, goodbye, now. Goodbye. Remember, please discard all candy wrappers and popcorn containers in the nearest trash receptacle. Thank you. Okay, goodbye, now. Goodbye. Okay. Are they all gone? Uh, is everybody gone? Huh? Good. Oh, my, gosh, my cheeks are kill me. I can't keep you're smiling like this anymore. I'm exhausted. I think I need a break. A little break? Okay. Phew.