The Incredibles

The Incredibles

November 5, 2004

Brad Bird & John Walker

ON SCREEN

Walt Disney Pictures.

Pixar.

BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Is this on? I can break through walls, I just can't... I can't get this on.

INTERVIEWER

So, Mr. Incredible, do you have a secret identity?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Every superhero has one, has a secret identity. I don't know a single one who doesn't. Who wants the pressure of being super all the time?

Walt Disney Pictures presents.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

Of course I have a secret identity. Who'd want to go shopping as Elastigirl, you know what I mean?



A Pixar Animation Studios film.

LUCIUS (FROZONE)

Super ladies, they're always want to tell you their secret identity. Think it'll strengthen the relationship or something. I said, "Girl, I don't want to know about your mild-mannered alter ego," or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're a "super-mega-ultra-lightning-babe", that's alright with me. I'm good. I'm good.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved, you know? For a little bit. I feel like the maid. "I just cleaned up this mess. Can we keep it clean for ten minutes? Please?" Sometimes l think I'd just like the simple life, you know? Relax a little and raise a family.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

Settle down? Are you kidding? I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so. I don't think so.



The Incredibles.

RADIO

We interrupt for an important bulletin. A deadly high-speed pursuit between police and armed gunmen is underway, traveling northbound on San Pablo Boulevard.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

I've got time.



OLD LADY

Mr. lncredible. Oh, Mr. Incredible...



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

What is it, Ma'am?



OLD LADY

My cat, Squeaker, won't come down.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Certainly, Ma'am. But I suggest you stand clear. There could be trouble.



OLD LADY

Oh, no. He's quite tame.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Let go now!



COP 1

Thank you, Mr. lncredible. You've done it again.



COP 2

Yeah, you're the best.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

No, I'm just here to help.



RADIO

Attention all units. We have a tour bus robbery in the vicinity of Paradise and Solano...



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

I've still got time. Officers, Ma'am. Squeaker.



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

Cool! Ready for take-off!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

What the heck? Who are you supposed to be?



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

Well then, I'm lncrediBoy.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

No, no. You're that kid from the fan club. B... Bro-phy. Bud. Buddy! Buddy!



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

The name is IncrediBoy.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Look, I've been nice, I've stood for photos, signed every scrap of paper you pushed at me but this is a bit...



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

You don't have to worry about training me. I know all your moves, your crime fighting style, favorite catchphrases, everything! I'm your number one fan! Hey! Hey, wait!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

You know, you can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse. But maybe that's not what you had in mind.



THIEF

Hey, look!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Elastigirl.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

Mr. lncredible.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

It's alright. I've got him.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

Sure, you've got him. I just took him out for you.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Sure, you took him out. His attention was on me.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

A fact I exploited in order to do my job.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

My job, you mean.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

A simple thank you will suffice.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Thanks, but I don't need any help.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

Whatever happened to ladies first?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Well, whatever happened to equal treatment?



THIEF

Hey, look, the lady got me first.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

Well, we could share, you know.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

I work alone.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

Well, I think you need to be more, flexible.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Are you doing anything later?



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

I have a previous engagement.

BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Now, you just stay right here. They usually pick up the garbage in an hour.



LUCIUS (FROZONE)

Hey, Incredible!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Hey, Frozone!



LUCIUS (FROZONE)

Shouldn't you be getting ready?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Hey, I've still got time.



WOMAN

He's going to jump!



SANSWEET

My collarbone... I think you broke it.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

With counseling, I think you'll come to forgive me. Wait a minute. Bomb Voyage.



VOYAGE

Mr. Incredible!



BOY

And IncrediBoy!



VOYAGE

IncrediBoy?



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

Hey, hey! Aren't you curious about how I get around so fast? See? I have these rocket boots.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Go home, Buddy. Now.



VOYAGE

Little oaf.



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

Can we talk? You always, always, tell people, "Be true to yourself," but you never say which part of yourself to be true to. Well, I've finally figured out who I am. I am your ward, IncrediBoy!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

And now, you've officially carried it too far, Buddy.



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

It's because I don't have powers, isn't it? Not every hero has powers, you know. You can be super without them. I invented these. I can fly. Can you fly?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.



VOYAGE

Yes! And your outfit is totally ridiculous!



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

Just give me one chance! I'll show you. I'll go get the police.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Buddy, don't!



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

It'll only take a second, really.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

No, stop! There's a bomb!



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

Let go! You're wrecking my flight pattern! Let go of my cape! You're gonna rip it!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Take this one home. And make sure his mom knows what he's been doing.



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

I can help you. You're making a mistake. Hey!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

The injured jumper. You sent paramedics?



COP

They've already picked him up.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

The blast in that building was caused by Bomb Voyage who I caught in the act robbing the vault. We might be able to nab him if we set up a perimeter.



COP

You mean he got away?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Well, yeah. Skippy here made sure of that.



BUDDY (INCREDIBOY)

IncrediBoy!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

You're not affiliated with me! Holy smokes, I'm late. Listen, I've gotta be somewhere.



COP

What about Bomb Voyage?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Any other night, I'd go after him myself, but I've really gotta go. Don't worry. We'll get him! Eventually! Is the night still young?

LUCIUS (FROZONE)

You're very late.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

How do I look? Good?



LUCIUS (FROZONE)

The mask! You still got the mask.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Showtime.



PRIEST

Robert Golden, do you take Helen Truax to be your lawful wedded wife?



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

Cutting it kinda close, don't you think?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

You need to be more... flexible.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

I love you, but if we're gonna make this work, you've gotta be more than Mr. lncredible. You know that. Don't you?



PRIEST

...so long as you both shall live?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

I do.



PRIEST

I pronounce this couple husband and wife.



HELEN (ELASTIGIRL)

As long as we both shall live. No matter what happens.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

We're superheroes. What could happen?



NEWSWOMAN

In a stunning turn of events, a superhero is being sued for saving someone who, apparently, didn't want to be saved. The plaintiff, Oliver Sansweet, who was foiled in his attempted suicide by Mr. Incredible, has filed suit against the famed superhero in Superior Court.



SANSWEET'S LAWYER

Mr. Sansweet didn't ask to be saved. Mr. Sansweet didn't want to be saved. And the injury received from Mr. Incredible actions, so quote, causes him daily pain.



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Hey, I saved your life!



SANSWEET

You didn't save my life! You ruined my death, that's what
you did!



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

Listen, you little piece of...



MR. INCREDIBLE'S LAWYER

My client has no further comment at this time.



NARRATOR

Five days later, another suit was filed by victims of the el train accident. Incredible's court losses cost the government millions. And opened the flood gates for dozens of similar lawsuits against superheroes the world over.



JUDGE

It is time for their secret identity to become their only identity. Time for them to join us, or go away.



NARRATOR

Under tremendous public pressure, and the crushing financial burden of an ever mounting series of lawsuits, the government quietly initiated the superhero relocation program. The supers will be granted amnesty from responsibility for past actions, in exchange for the promise to never again resume hero work. Where are they now? They are living among us. Average citizens, average heroes. Quietly and anonymously continuing to make the world a better place.

HOGENSON

Denied? You're denying my claim?

15 years later.

HOGENSON

I don't understand. I have full coverage.



BOB

I'm sorry, Mrs. Hogenson, but our liability is spelled out
in paragraph 17. It states clearly...



HOGENSON

I can't pay for this.



BOB

Excuse me. Claims, Bob Parr.



HELEN

I'm calling to celebrate a momentous occasion. We're now officially moved in.



BOB

That's great, honey. And the last three years don't count because...



HELEN

Because I finally unpacked the last box. Now, it's official. Why do we have so much junk?



BOB

Listen, honey, I've got a client here.



HELEN

Say no more. Go save the world one policy at a time, honey. Oh! I gotta go pick up the kids from school. See you tonight.



BOB

Bye, honey. Excuse me. Where were we?



HOGENSON

I'm on a fixed income, and if you can't help me, I don't know what I'll do.



BOB

All right, listen closely. I'd like to help you, but I can't. I'd like to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on the... Norma Wilcox. W-l-L-C-O-X. On the third floor. But I can't. I would advise you should not fill out and file a WS2475 form with a man named Oliver Jenkins our legal department on the seventh floor. I wouldn't expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help, but there's nothing I can do.



HOGENSON

Oh, thank you, young man.



BOB

Shhh! I'm sorry, ma'am! I know you're upset! Pretend to be upset.



HUPH

Parr! You authorized payment on the Walker policy?!



BOB

Someone broke into their house, Mr. Huph. Their policy clearly covers them against.



HUPH

I don't wanna know about their coverage, Bob! Don't tell me about their coverage. Tell me how you're keeping Insuricare in the black. Tell me how that's possible, with you writing checks to every Harry Hardluck and Sally Sobstory that gives you a phone call.



[PA Announcement]

Morning break is over. Morning break is over.

PRINCIPAL

I appreciate you coming down here so quickly, Mrs. Parr.



HELEN

What's this about? Has Dash done something wrong?



KROPP

He's a disruptive influence. And he openly mocks me in front
of the class.



DASH

He says.



KROPP

Look, I know it's you! He puts thumbtacks on my stool.



HELEN

You saw him do this?



KROPP

Well...not really. No, actually, not.



HELEN

Oh, then how do you know it was him?



KROPP

I hid a camera. This time, I've got him. See? You see? What, you don't see it? He moves! Right there! Wait, wait! Right there! Right as I'm sitting down! I don't know how he does it, but there's no tack on my stool before he moves and after he moves, there's a tack. Coincidence? I think not!



PRINCIPAL

Bernie...



KROPP

Don't "Bernie" me. This little rat is guilty!



PRINCIPAL

You and your son can go now, Mrs. Parr. I'm sorry for the trouble.



KROPP

You're letting him go again? He's guilty! You can see it on his smug little face. Guilty, guilty, guilty! No!



HELEN

Dash, this is the third time this year you've been sent to the office. We need to find a better outlet. A more...constructive outlet.



DASH

Maybe I could, if you'd let me go out for sports.



HELEN

Honey, you know why we can't do that.



DASH

I promise I'll slow up. I'll only be the best by a little bit.



HELEN

Dashiell Robert Parr, you are an incredibly competitive boy. And a bit of a showoff. The last thing you need is temptation.



DASH

You always say, "Do your best." But you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?



HELEN

Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we must be like everybody else.



DASH

But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of. Our powers made us special.



HELEN

Everyone's special, Dash.



DASH

Which is another way of saying no one is.



BOY

Hey, Rydinger. Where you headed?



GIRL

Hi, Tony.



TONY

Hey.



BOY

Hey, Tony, can I carry your books?



TONY

That's kind of funny.



BOY 1

Hey, Tony, do you play football?



BOY 2

Tony, I thought we were gonna go swimming.



VIOLET

He looked at me.



DASH

Come on, Violet!



BOB

Darn kids. Sitting on the driveway... Oh, great.

DASH

Mom, you're making weird faces again.



HELEN

No, I'm not.



BOB

You make weird faces, honey.



HELEN

Do you have to read at the table?



BOB

Uh-huh. Yeah.



HELEN

Smaller bites, Dash. Yikes! Bob, could you help the carnivore cut his meat? 



DASH

Ow.



HELEN

Dash, you have something you wanna tell your father about school?



DASH

Uh, well, we dissected a frog.



HELEN

Dash got sent to the office again.



BOB

Good. Good.



HELEN

No, Bob, that's bad.



BOB

What?



HELEN

Dash got sent to the office again.



BOB

What?! What for?



DASH

Nothing.



HELEN

He put a tack on the teacher's chair, during class.



DASH

Nobody saw me. You could barely see it on the tape.



BOB

They caught you on tape and you still got away with it? Whoa! You must have been booking. How fast do you think were you going?



HELEN

Bob! We are not encouraging this.



BOB

I'm not encouraging, I'm just asking how fast he was...



HELEN

Honey!



BOB

Oh, great. First the car and now I gotta pay to fix the table...



HELEN

The car? What happened to the car?



BOB

Here. I'm getting a new plate.



HELEN

What about you, Vi? How was school?



VIOLET

Nothing to report.



HELEN

You've hardly touched your food.



VIOLET

I'm not hungry for meatloaf.



HELEN

Well, it is leftover night. We have steak, pasta. What are you hungry for?



DASH

Tony Rydinger.



VIOLET

Shut up!



DASH

Well, you are.



VIOLET

I said, shut up, you little insect!



DASH

Well, she is.



HELEN

Do not shout at the table. Honey!



MAN

Kids, listen to your mother.



DASH

She'd eat if we were having Tony loaf.



VIOLET

That's it!



HELEN

Stop it!



DASH

You're gonna be toast!



HELEN

Stop running in the house. Sit down!



DASH

Ow! Hey, no force fields!



VIOLET

You started it.



HELEN

You sit down! You sit down! Violet!



BOB

Simon J. Paladino, longtime advocate of superhero rights, is missing? Gazerbeam.



HELEN

Bob! It's time to engage. Do something! Don't just stand there! I need you to intervene!



BOB

You want me to intervene? Okay. I'm intervening. I'm intervening!



HELEN

Violet, let go of your brother!



JACK-JACK

Hello?



BOB

Get the door.



DASH

Hey, Lucius!



LUCIUS

Hey, Speedo. Hey, Helen. Vi, Jack-Jack.



BOB

Hey! Ice of you to drop by.



LUCIUS

Ha! Never heard that one before.



DASH

Hey, Lucius!



LUCIUS

Whoa!



LUCIUS

Ha, ha.



DASH

Oh! I like it when it shatters.



BOB

I'll be back later.



HELEN

Hey, where are you two going?



BOB

It's Wednesday.



HELEN

Oh. Bowling night. Say hello to Honey for me, Lucius.



LUCIUS

Will do. Goodnight, Helen. Goodnight, kids.



HELEN

Don't think that you've avoided talking about your trip to the principal's office, young man. Your father and I are still gonna discuss it.



DASH

I'm not the only kid who's been sent to the office, you know.



HELEN

Other kids don't have superpowers. Now, it's perfectly normal for you to feel...



VIOLET

Normal? What do you know about normal? What does anyone in our family know about normal? The only normal one is Jack-Jack.



HELEN

Now, wait a minute, young lady.



VIOLET

We act normal, mom. I wanna be normal! The only normal one is Jack-Jack, and he's not even toilet trained.



DASH

Lucky. I meant about being normal.

LUCIUS

So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I managed to find cover and what does Doctor Toxic do?



BOB

He starts monologuing.



LUCIUS

He starts monologuing! He starts like this prepared speech about how feeble I am compared to him. How inevitable my defeat is, how the world will soon be his! Yada, yada, yada.



BOB

Yammering.



LUCIUS

Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter, and he won't shut up. 



RADIO

Six one sam, eight Municiberg. Go ahead, possible 2356 in progress at 115 Weatherford Way...



BOB

2356, what is that? Robbery?



LUCIUS

This is just sad.



BOB

Yeah, robbery. Want to catch a robber?



LUCIUS

No. Tell you the truth, I'd rather go bowling. Look, what if we actually did what our wives think we're doing? For a change.



MIRAGE

He's not alone. The fat guy's still with him. They're just talking.



LUCIUS

What are we doing here, Bob?



BOB

Protecting people.



LUCIUS

Nobody asked us.



BOB

You need an invitation?



LUCIUS

I'd like one, yes. We keep sneaking out to do this, and... You remember Gazerbeam?



BOB

Yeah. There was something about him in the paper.



LUCIUS

He had trouble adjusting to civilian life, too.



BOB

When's the last time you saw him?



LUCIUS

I don't see anyone from the old days, Bob. Just you. And we're pushing our luck as it is.



BOB

Oh, come on.



LUCIUS

It was fun the first time, but if we keep doing this, we're gonna get...



RADIO

We have a report on a fire at Fourth and Elias.



BOB

A fire. We're close! Yeah, baby!



LUCIUS

We're gonna get caught.



BOB

Woohoo! Haha!  Fire! Yeah!



LUCIUS

Is that everybody?



BOB

Yeah, that's everyone.



LUCIUS

It better be.



BOB

Can't you put this out?



LUCIUS

I can't lay down a layer thick enough! It's evaporating too fast!



BOB

What? What's that mean?



LUCIUS

It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob!



BOB

You're out of ice? You can't run out of ice! I thought you could use the water in the air!



LUCIUS

There is no water in this air! What's your excuse, run out of muscle?



BOB

I can't just go smashing through walls! The building's getting weaker by the second! It'll come down on top of us!



LUCIUS

I wanted to go bowling!



BOB

All right! Stay right on my tail! This is gonna get hot! Yeah. Uh-oh. Oh, good.



LUCIUS

Oh, now, that ain't right!



LUCIUS & BOB

We look like bad guys! Incompetent bad guys! You can get water out of the air!

COP

Freeze! Freeze!



LUCIUS

I'm thirsty.



COP

I said freeze!



LUCIUS

I'm just getting a drink.



COP

Alright. You've had your drink. Now I want you to... 



LUCIUS

I know. I know. Freeze.



RADIO

Shots fired!



COPS

Police officers!



LUCIUS

That was way too close. We are not doing that again.



RADIO

Verify you want to switch targets? Over.



MIRAGE

Trust me. This is the one he's been looking for.



HELEN

You said you'd be back by 11 .



BOB

I said I'd be back later.



HELEN

I assumed you'd be back later. If you came back at all, you'd be back later.



BOB

Well, I'm back, okay?



HELEN

Is this rubble?



BOB

It was just a little workout. Just to stay loose.



HELEN

You know how I feel about that, Bob. Darn you! We just got settled! We can't blow cover again!



BOB

The building was coming down anyway.



HELEN

What?! You knocked down a building?!



BOB

It was on fire. Structurally unsound. It was coming down anyway.



HELEN

Tell me it's not the police scanner again?



BOB

Look, I performed a public service. You act like that's a bad thing.



HELEN

It is a bad thing, Bob! Uprooting our family again, believe you had to relive the glory days is a very bad thing.



BOB

Hey, reliving the glory days is better than acting like they didn't happen!



HELEN

Yes! They happened! But this, our family, is what's happening now, Bob. And you are missing this! I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.



BOB

It's not a graduation. He's moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade.



HELEN

It's a ceremony!



BOB

It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity but if someone is genuinely exceptional, they shut him down because they don't want everybody else to feel bad!



HELEN

This is not about you, Bob. This is about Dash.



BOB

You want to help Dash? Let him actually compete. Let him go out for sports!



HELEN

I will not be made the enemy here! You know why we can't do that.



BOB

Because he'd be great!



HELEN

This is not about you!



BOB

All right, Dash. I know you're listening. Come on out.



HELEN

Vi? You, too, young lady.



BOB

Come on. Come on out. It's okay, kids. We're just having a discussion.



VIOLET

Pretty loud discussion.



BOB

Yeah. But that's okay. Because what's important is that Mommy and I are always a team. We're always united against, uh, the forces of, uh...



HELEN

Pigheadedness?



BOB

I was gonna say evil or something.



HELEN

We're sorry we woke you. Everything's okay. Go back to bed. It's late.



DASH

Good night, Mom. Night, Dad.



VIOLET

Good night.



HELEN

In fact, we should all be in bed.

COMPUTER VOICE

Request claim on claim numbers 158183...



HUPH

Haven't you got him yet?! Where is he?!



INTERCOM

Mr. Huph wants you in his office.



BOB

Now?



INTERCOM

Now.



HUPH

Sit down, Bob. I'm not happy, Bob. Not happy. Ask me why.



BOB

Okay. Why?



HUPH

Why what? Be specific, Bob.



BOB

Why are you unhappy?



HUPH

Your customers make me unhappy.



BOB

What, you've gotten complaints?



HUPH

Complaints I can handle. What I can't handle is your customers' inexplicable knowledge of Insuricare's inner workings! They're experts. Experts, Bob! Exploiting every loophole, dodging every obstacle! They're penetrating the bureaucracy!



BOB

Did I do something illegal?



HUPH

No.



BOB

Are you saying we shouldn't help our customers?



HUPH

The law requires that I answer no.



BOB

We're supposed to help people.



HUPH

We're supposed to help our people! Starting with our stockholders, Bob. Who's helping them out, huh? You know, Bob, a company is...



BOB

Is like an enormous clock.



HUPH

...is like an enormous clock, yes. Precisely. It only works if all the little cogs mesh together. Now, a clock needs to be cleaned, well-lubricated and wound tight. The best clocks have jewel movements, cogs that fit, that cooperate by design. I'm being metaphorical, Bob. You know what I mean by cooperative cogs? Bob? Bob? Look at me when I'm talking to you, Parr!



BOB

That man out there, he needs help.



HUPH

Do not change the subject, Bob. We're discussing your attitude!



BOB

But he is getting mugged!



HUPH

Well, let's hope we don't cover him.



BOB

I'll be right back.



HUPH

Stop right now or you're fired! Close the door. Get over here, now. I'm not happy, Bob. Not happy.



BOB

He got away.



HUPH

Good thing, too. You were this close to losing your...



BOB

Uh-oh. How is he?



DICKER

He'll live.



BOB

I'm fired, aren't I?



DICKER

Oh, you think?



BOB

What can I say, Rick?



DICKER

Nothing you haven't said before.



BOB

Someone was in trouble.



DICKER

Someone's always in trouble.



BOB

I had to do something.



DICKER

Yeah. Every time you say those words, it means a month and a half of trouble for me, Bob. Minimum. It means hundreds of thousands of taxpayer's dollars.



BOB

I know.



DICKER

We gotta pay to keep the company quiet. We gotta pay damages, erase memories, relocate your family. Every time it gets harder. Money, money, money, money. We can't keep doing this, Bob! We appreciate what you did in the old days, but those days are over. From now on, you're on your own. Listen, Bob. Maybe I could relocate you, you know, for old times' sake.



BOB

No, I can't do that to my family again. We just got settled. It'll be alright. I'll make it work. Thanks.



DICKER

Take care of yourself.

BOB

What are you waiting for?



KID

I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.



BOB

Me too, kid. Me too. Huh? Hold still?



TABLET

Match: Mr. Incredible. Room is secure. Commence message.



MIRAGE

Hello, Mr. Incredible. My name is Mirage. Yes, we know who you are. Rest assured, your secret is safe with us. Actually, we have something in common. According to the government, neither of us exist. Please pay attention, as this message is classified and will not be repeated. I represent a top secret division of the government, designing and testing experimental technology, and we have need of your unique abilities. Something has happened at our testing facility.

HELEN

Honey!



BOB

Huh? What?



HELEN

Dinner's ready.



BOB

Okay, okay.



MIRAGE

Although it is contained within an isolated area, it threatens to cause incalculable damage to itself and to our facilities, jeopardizing hundreds of millions of dollars worth of equipment...



HELEN

Is someone in there?



BOB

The TV, I'm trying to watch.



MIRAGE

Because of its highly sensitive nature...



HELEN

Well, stop trying. It's time for dinner.



BOB

One minute!



MIRAGE

If you accept, your payment will be equivalent to your current annual salary. Call the number on the screen. Voice-matching will be used to insure security. The supers aren't gone, Mr. Incredible. You're still here. You can still do great things. Or... you can listen to police scanners. Your choice. You have 24 hours to respond. Think about it.



TABLET

This message will self-destruct.



BOB

Uh-oh.



HELEN

You are one distracted guy.



BOB

Hmm? Am I? I don't mean to be.



HELEN

I know you miss being a hero and your job is frustrating. I just want you to know how much it means to me that you stay at it anyway.



BOB

Honey? About the job?



HELEN

What?



BOB

Something's happened.



HELEN

What?



BOB

The, uh...



HELEN

What?



BOB

The company is sending me to a conference.



HELEN

A conference?



BOB

Out of town. And I'm just gonna be gone for a few days.



HELEN

They've never sent you to a conference before. This is good, isn't it?



BOB

Yes.



HELEN

You see? They're finally recognizing your talents. You're moving up.



BOB

Yes.



HELEN

Honey! This is wonderful!



BOB

Yes, it is.



MIRAGE [over phone]

Hello?



BOB (MR. INCREDIBLE)

This is Mr. lncredible. I'm in.

Hey Arnold! S03E06 Arnold Betrays Iggy/Helga and the Nanny

Arnold Betrays Iggy

{The episode begins with Arnold, Sid, and Stinky walking through town together. Arnold is tasked with dropping off Iggy's homework.}

Stinky: You're so lucky Mr. Simmons picked you to drop off Iggy's homework, Arnold!

Sid: He's so cool! I mean, maybe he's not even sick!

Stinky: Yeah! He's so cool, remember when he drew that funny chalk picture of Principal Wartz looking like a circus clown on the playground?

Sid: And Wartz got all mad and made Iggy stay after school for a whole week.

Stinky: That was so cool!

Sid: Yeah, I just think that he's faking being sick.

Stinky: He's so cool!

{Eventually, Arnold makes it to Iggy's apartment and knocks on the door. Iggy's mother answers}

Arnold: Hi. Is Iggy here?

Iggy's mother: He's on the sofa.

{Arnold makes his way inside, walking down the long hallway that leads to the living room. As he walks, he sees a picture of Iggy smiling and posing in a cool fashion, admiring it. He then enters the room, and sees Iggy watching television while wearing bunny pajamas. Iggy realizes that Arnold is here.}

Iggy: Arnold!?

Arnold: Iggy!?

Iggy: Arnold!?

Arnold: Iggy!?

Iggy: Arnold!?

Arnold: {walking towards him}What are you wearing?

Iggy: Uh, forget it! {hides under his blanket}You didn't see anything!

Arnold: Are those bunny pajamas?

Iggy: {poking his head out} No, of course not! I'm nine years old for cripes sakes! Why would I be wearing bunny pajamas? {As he speaks, one of the bunny ears pops out from up top, making him cover up again. Just then, his mother enters and switches the lights on and television off. She walks towards the covered Iggy}

Iggy's mother: Iggy, sweetheart. I need to wash this blanket. {she removes it, exposing him fully, before exiting the room}

Arnold: They are! They're bunny pajamas! {trying not to laugh}Oh, man, I can't believe this!

Iggy: Okay, okay! So it's true. Arnold, you got to do me a favor. You gotta promise me you won't tell!

Arnold: {through slight chuckles} I promise!

Iggy: {grabbing Arnold by his shirt} I got a reputation! People think that I'm cool! If they know I sleep in bunny pajamas, I'll lose all respect! I worked hard for that respect!

Arnold: I-I understand.

Iggy: Promise me Arnold.

Arnold: I promise.

Iggy: That you won't tell anyone!

Arnold: {through his chuckling} That I won't tell anyone...that you sleep in bunny pajamas! {laughs}

Iggy: It's not funny, Arnold!

Arnold: {laughing} I know! I promise!

{the next day, on the bus ride to school}

Stinky: So that's how come my favorite pudding is lemon pudding.

Sid: You tell us that same story every morning.

Stinky: That's on account of it being my favorite story about myself.

Sid: So, Arnold. How was Iggy yesterday? Was he faking'?

Arnold: Oh, no no, he wasn't faking. I mean, he seemed kinda sick. {he starts laughing to himself}

Sid: What's so funny Arnold?

Arnold: Nothing.

Stinky: Well, I reckon something might be funny on account of your laughing.

Arnold: It's nothing! Just...something that happened when I went to Iggy's house last night.

Sid: Well, what happened?

Arnold: I can't talk about it.

{at that moment, the bus arrives at the school. The students exit and make their way to the entrance}

Stinky: Come on, Arnold! What was so funny!?

Arnold: I told you I can't talk about it.

Stinky: Was it something he did?

Arnold: Well, it was just something that he was wearing, but that's all I can say.

Stinky: Was it a dress?

Arnold: No, of course not.

Sid: Was it lederhosen?

Arnold: No, Sid, it wasn't lederhosen.

Sid: Well, come on. How bad could it be? I mean, it wasn't like he was wearing bunny pajamas or something.

The Iron Giant

Fades to deep space.

Stars blaze against the blackness of deep space. One star begins to move, coming closer, moving toward...

EARTH, in space: blue seas, fleecy white clouds. BEEP-BEEP- BEEP: a retro-satellite, Sputnik, tumbles past.

Below, near New England, black storm clouds swirl in silence. Flashes, LIGHTNING FLICKERS.

A SHIP ON A STORM-TOSSED SEA - NIGHT

The wind HOWLS, the storm RAGES in the chill waters off the rocky coast of Maine. Giant waves tower overhead, then CRASH over the decks of a fishing ship where desperate FISHERMEN fight to stay alive. The CAPTAIN YELLS orders no one can hear in the deafening ROAR.

INT. SHIP'S MAIN CABIN - NIGHT

The FIRST MATE yells into the radio, their only hope:

First Mate: Mayday! Mayday! This is fishing ship "Annabelle"! We're floundering and taking on water! Mayday! Mayday!

An enormous WAVE smashes against the bow of the ship, throwing everyone in the cabin off balance. A glass shatters. The Captain enters, the two lock eyes: it looks bad.

Captain: What's our position?

Sailor #1: (grim) I don't know.

Captain: If you don't know where we are then you don't know where we're going!! You could be running us right into the rocks!!

Then: a VOICE breaks through the static on the radio.

Radio: Coast Guard Portland Station to Annabelle: Do you read me?

As the mate starts to answer, lightning STRIKES the huge mast. It CRASHES through the pilothouse window, SMASHING the radio. Glass, radio parts FLY.

The Captain's shoulders slump: now they're done for.

ON THE DECK - NIGHT

The Captain comes out on deck: his men stare at him, eyes full of fear, desperation. Then, impossibly... the WINDS TRAIL OFF. In seconds, the sea flattens into a sheet of glass. All is DEAD CALM. It's eerie. Ropes CREAK.

The men ERUPT in celebration, CHEERING, hugging each other: it's over! The angry Captain YELLS:

Captain: It's not over, you idiots! It's just the eye of the storm!

The men look around: far off on the horizon, the raging storm still surrounds the ship... but overhead, stars appear. It's eerie, strange.

Fisherman: Look!

Overhead, a new, brilliant star appears... and it's quickly growing larger. The blazing light speeds toward the startled sailors, impossibly fast, intensely bright, blinding, all goes white...

KAWHOOSH! The light CRASHES into the sea. Water flies, the sea BOILS, CHURNING, ROARING, the water green-lit from below. Great clouds of steam BILLOW and HISS.

Then, without warning, the raging storm ROARS back with a vengeance, a huge wave SLAMS into the ship. Again the fishermen fight for their lives.

But then a dim light appears, far off in the rain: a barely visible beam sweeps back and forth in the storm.

Captain: The lighthouse! Head for it!

The desperate men struggle to steer their limping ship toward the light. Then, CLANG! The ship shudders, stops instantly: the ship has SLAMMED into... a wall! A solid wall, a wall made of... iron?

Fisherman: I can see anything.

The sailors freeze, speechless: they look up the wall, up, up... flashes of lightning illuminate: a face! Twin beams of light comes from what look to be... eyes, in an enormous face. A giant?! Made of metal!

Fisherman #1: Look out!

Fisherman #2: Run for it!

THUNDER BOOMS. The impossible face seems to turn downward... and looks at the men. The men quake.

A HUGE WAVE CRASHES over the ship and throws the men overboard, into the sea. The ship begins sinking fast.

IN THE WATER, NEAR THE CLIFFS - NIGHT

Men surface, cling to ship debris. Two men in a lifeboat pull their comrades from the chill waters.

A wave WASHES over rocks, leaves behind a limp fisherman, clinging to the rocks. Barely alive, whipped by wind and rain, he sees lightning-brief glimpses of the giant thing as it moves off in the HOWLING storm and dissapears.

The VIEW MOVES up, up the rocky cliff to the lighthouse perched atop the cliff. The brilliant beam tries in vain to penetrate the RAGING storm...

EXT. HOGARTH'S HOUSE - THAT NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

We push through the storm towards an upstairs window, and into...

INT. HOGARTH'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

A flashlight beam illustrates the STORM SMASHING against a window.

A WIDE-EYED NINE-YEAR-OLD BOY, HOGARTH, GRIPS THE FLASHLIGHT.

AS THE STORM RAGES, HOGARTH EXPLORES HIS ROOM BY FLASHLIGHT. THE MOVING BEAM GIVES LIFE TO THE ROOM FULL OF TOYS AND MEMORABILIA, THE WINDS HOWL GROWS LOUDER.

GLASS SHATTERS and a cold wind whips into the room.

Annie: (O.S.) Hogarth....?!!

The door flies open and Hogarth's mother ANNIE is there. Late twenties, attractive.

Annie: Are you alright, honey?

Hogarth: Yeah, Mom, I'm okay...

Annie turns to the shattered window pane, then pushes Hogarth's bookshelf in front of it to block the wind. Hogarth stares at his monther. She looks spooked.

Hogarth: ...are you?

Annie: I hate when the power goes out. But... yes, I'm fine.

Outside, the wind howls.

Hogarth: Wanna stay up with me for a while? (coaxing) I could tell you a story...

Annie smiles, touched.

Annie: A story, huh? What have you got for me this time?

Hogarth: Well, it's a story about...

Hogarth scans the toys and souvenirs on his bedside table. With a sudden flash of inspiration, he grabs a baseball card.

Hogarth: Mickey Mantle. He had a magic bat, Mom. Everybody says so.

As Annie watches Hogarth with motherly adoration, Hogarth picks up a plastic dinosaur.

Hogarth: Anyway, this is the story of Mickey's adventures with the stegosaurus. It's got action and romance. And the best part is, it's all true. 

Annie laughs and touches a fingertip on Hogarth's forehead.

Annie: You've got a lot going on in there, don't you, Hogarth? (wistfully) Just like your father...

For a moment Hogarth beams. He looks over at a framed photo that sits on his nightstand, that shows a handsome man dressed in an army uniform. And as he stares at the photo, a sad, pensive look comes over Hogarth's face. Annie sees it.

Hogarth: I can't wait 'til he comes back.

Annie: (gently) We've been through this before, honey...

Hogarth: They found his plane, mom. They didn't find him. He's gonna come back.

Annie sees the resolute look in her son's eyes and decides to change tack.

Annie: So what could he do with that magic bat of his?

Hogarth: (lost in thought) Huh?

Annie: Mickey Mantle. Could he cast spells with it, like a magician?

Hogarth: Oh... (brightening) Yeah. Yeah that's exactly what he could do. And that's why he was known as the Wizard of Sherwood Forest.

Annie: (amused) Sherwood Forest, huh?

Hogarth: Right. And then one day, this Stegosaurus shows up. And he says-- (deep voice) "Who thinks he is mightier than me, the mighty thunder lizard?"

Annie: And this is all true, now?

Hogarth: Every word, Mom -- I wouldn't make this up. So Mickey says, "I'm the two time American League batting champ. I was MVP of the All-Star game three times running. I go anywhere I please in this forest..."

We DRIFT BACK from mother and son, hunkered down in a pool of warm flashlight, surrounded by darkness...

EXT. ROCKWELL - THE NEXT MORNING

The sun has risen on a beautiful Maine morning.

The camera starts HIGH in a tall tree, where a bird is repairing its storm-damaged nest, and pans down from this literal bird's-eye view to the streets of Rockwell, where stoic New Englanders are doing repairs of their own.

Down the middle of the street comes Hogarth, on a bike. In the wire bike-basket in front of him is a shoebox with holes punched in the lid.

A couple of LOCALS are clearing a felled tree. We hear their conversation as they drift across the screen in Hogarth's travelling POV.

First Local: Strangest storm I ever seen. Swept away best iron wheelbarrow. But left the handles behind...

Now Hogarth passes a pair of WOMEN who gossip as they rake up leaves and branches.

First Woman: My husband spoke to one of those fishermen this morning. Fellow wouldn't talk about the shipwreck at all. Said we'd all think he was mad.

Second Woman: Now what do you think he meant by that?

First Woman: Well, I'm sure I don't know. (lowers her voice) But it wouldn't surprise me if the communists are involved.

EXT. THE "CHAT `N´ CHEW" DINER - DAY

The "Chat `n´ Chew" diner sits near the docks and the town square: the center of all social life in the village. Hogarth arrives, at last, and parks his bike. He takes the shoebox out of his bike basket, opens it a little and speaks to whatever is inside.

Hogarth: Remember -- be charming.

INT. DINER - DAY

The diner is packed. EVERYBODY is here--FARMERS, FISHERMEN -- all swapping storm-stories. It's LOUD. And there's no empty table, no place to sit.

Annie: (O.S.) Over here, honey!

Hogarth enters and looks around. He spots Annie, now dressed as a waitress and serving coffee from behind the counter. Hogarth puts on a big smile and waves at her.

Hogarth: Hey, Mom! You won't believe our good luck! Guess what I found...

He makes his way through the coffee shop to the counter. As he passes by, various local ladies -- THE BUSYBODIES -- look up from their breakfasts, mouths downcast and eyes half- lidded -- ever ready to cast judgement, should the precious opportunity arise. Hogarth arrives at the counter opens the shoebox for Annie. A baby squirrel pokes its head out. Annie rolls her eyes.

Hogarth: His tree musta gotten knocked down in the storm! Can I keep him?

Annie: Hogarth, we've been through this before. No pets...

Hogarth: But he's not a pet, Mom. He's a friend. You're always saying I should have more friends come over, right? Well now I've got one. (selling it) You gotta admit I'm making sense here.

Annie: Hogarth, if there's one thing we've learned from your many pets, it's that claws and furniture do not mix.

Hogarth: I know but--

Annie: No "buts." We have got to rent a room this year if we're going to make ends meet...

Nearby a Busybody perks up her ears, elbows her neighbor, and raises her eyebrows significantly.

Annie: ...and no one wants to live in a place with shredded upholstery.

Hogarth: You'll never know he's there. I'll keep him in a cage him.

Annie: Until you feel sorry for him and "set him free" in the house. Do you remember the raccoon, Hogarth? God, I remember the raccoon...

Hogarth: Please, mom. At least look at him...

Annie: (softening) Alright, where is this guy...? I can't read this handwriting. Yeah, that one should have lettuce, tomato, extra mayo.

Hogarth grins and reaches down for his box... then notices there's nothing inside it. The squirrel has escaped. Hogarth looks back at Annie, hiding his desperation.

Hogarth: I... will go get him... okay?

Annie: (O.S.) So he wants us to hold the mayo and the mustard. How about just hold the flavor altogether?

Hogarth turns, his eyes darting around frantically. Finally he spies a FURRY TAIL disappearing under a four-person table with a single occupant, hidden behind a newspaper.

Hogarth: Excuse me...? Excuse me...

No response. Behind the paper, smoke rises.

Hogarth: Sir?

Still no response. Hogarth is getting exasperated.

Hogarth: Sir...? Sir? Sir! EXCUSE ME, S--

Hogarth STOPS with sudden realization. He slowly pushes down the top of the paper, revealing that the person he's talking to...

...is ASLEEP. A lit cigarette with an impossibly long ash dangles precariously from his lips. This is DEAN McCOPPEN. 35, sporting sunglasses, handsome in a rumpled sort of way. Unshaved, uncombed, unusual. A beatnik. Here. Hogarth's heard of them, but this is the first one he's seen up close. The beatnik's head lolls...

...and his cigarette drops in his lap. He WAKES.

Dean: What's that? I was snoring, right? Sorry, man. I'm just not a morning person...

Hogarth: Please don't move, sir. My pet's under your table--don't look--if you make a scene my mom won't let me keep him.

Dean: Don't worry sonny, I'm cool as a cucumber. (SHRIEK OF PAIN)

He LEAPS up, HOLLERING, SLAPPING at his smoking pants.

ON ANNIE

as she turns to watch the COMMOTION from across the room. The busybodies are all abuzz. Who is the weird guy with Hogarth?

RESUME DEAN & HOGARTH

as Dean finally gets under control. He looks around. The whole joint is staring at him. He picks up his cigarette butt and holds it as he addresses the other diners.

Dean: Had a little cigarette mishap. It's under control. Show's over. Cool yourselves and resume breakfasting, people. (sitting, to Hogarth) What kind of pet, kid?

Hogarth: A squirrel. Don't worry, he's friendly.

Annie: Is my son bothering you, sir?

Dean stares at Annie, smiling strangely.

Dean: Yes. No. Call me Dean.

As Dean and Annie size each other up, the three Busybodies whisper cattily back and forth.

First Busybody: Oh! I don't know why they let such people in here.

Second Busybody: She ought to ignore him.

Third Busybody: You forget how single she is, dear.

The busybodies exchange smug, catty grins.

EXT. ROCKWELL STREET - DAY

The camera is very low, as an official-looking car pulls up, and comes to a stop in front of us, its front grille filling the screen. The words "U.S. GOVERNMENT" are printed boldly across the top of the license plate.

THE CAMERA PULLS OUT

And the driver's side car door opens. A well dressed man in his mid-thirties, KENT MANSLEY, steps out, puffs on his pipe and surveys his surroundings with a steely-eyed, square-jawed gaze.

Now a troubled look comes over him, as he notices the US COVERNMENT decal on his car door is peeling off. He presses it flat -- it curls up again. He presses it flat -- it curls. He licks his fingers, rubs it on the decal and presses it hard -- and it holds. Kent's look of confidence returns. He slams the car door with authority; one side of the license plate unhinges and hangs at an angle. Kent sighs with defeat, and walks away.

INT. DINER - DAY

Annie speaks gently to Hogarth.

Annie: Hogarth. I thought you were getting your pet, honey.

Hogarth: I will, mom. After I finish talking to--

Dean: (still smiling strangely) Dean.

Hogarth: --Dean.

Annie shrugs, exits. Hogarth looks at Dean curiously.

Dean: I found your pet.

Hogarth: Where?

Dean: (maintaining clenched smile) Up my leg, man. Squirrel's in my pants, Hogarth. I'm tryin' not to wig out here.

Hogarth: Don't wig out.

Dean: (quietly, skin crawling) Okay... he's heading north. (finally) I'm sorry, kid...

Dean stands spastically, again addresses the room.

Dean: I'd like to apologize to everyone in advance for this.

He unzips his fly and out pops the squirrel. There is a collective GASP, then a series of shrieks as the squirrel scampers around the diner. Dean zips up and sits back down.

Dean: Check, please.

Annie GLARES at a sheepish Hogarth.

EXT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY

Kent now holds a clipboard, taking notes as he talks to an OLD FARMER. Nearby stands a tractor with a bite taken out of it.

Kent: And did you see any strange lights in the sky last night? Any saucer-shaped flying objects?

Farmer: No...

Kent: Were any of your live stock disoriented this morning? Did your cows appear anxious or depressed

Farmer: No... (getting suspicious) ...who did you say you worked for again?

Kent puffs himself up a little bit.

Kent: Frankly I'm not at liberty to reveal the particulars of the agency I work for.

He leans in confidentially.

Kent: But between you and me, I represent the United States Government. U.P.D. The Unexplained Phenomena Department.

The Farmer also leans in confidentially.

Farmer: C.I.A.?

Kent: Huh? Oh, uh... no. Our scope is less limited than the CIA. Unexplained Phenomena, my friend -- that could be anything.

Farmer: You work out of the Pentagon, then?

Kent: Well, sure, we work near the Pentagon, yes. You know Radcliffe Street?

Farmer: No.

Kent: Well, trust me, it's pretty much Pentagon adjacent. And all that that implies.

Farmer: So, what do you think got to my tractor? Something the commies built? Some kind of monster? Something from outer space?

Kent thinks for a moment, then deflates a little.

Kent: No, it's probably something else. (sighs wearily) It's always something else.

He makes a note on his clipboard. In the background, Dean approaches and hooks up the tractor to his tow truck and hauls it away.

INT. HOGARTH'S HOUSE - THAT NIGHT

Hogarth comes home. The phone RINGS, and he picks it up.

Hogarth: (automatic, without inflection) Hello, this is Hogarth Hughes speaking, who's calling please.

Annie: Hogarth, honey... I'm really sorry, but I need to work late tonight. There's some cold chicken in the ice box. You can have that and some carrots--

Hogarth: I'm way ahead of you, Mom.

He pulls a box of twinkies from a cupboard.

Annie: Good. I'll make it up to you, okay?

Hogarth: Okay.

Annie: I love you honey.

Hogarth: Me too.

Annie: And Hogarth? No scary movies, no late snacks, in bed by eight. Got it?

Hogarth: Got it. Come on, Mom. It's me, remember?

CUT TO:

THE CLOCK

is at 8:47... lit up by the ghostly flickering light of the television. We hear CREEPY MUSIC filtered through the tinny t.v. speaker. CAMERA DRIFTS to:

Man: (on TV) Why, the porpoise can communicate telepathically, Miss Melon. If we can transplant at least 15% of their brain matter into ours, we may be able to read minds.

HOGARTH

... taking a TWINKIE from a package. He SHAKES up a can of whipped cream, jams it into the flat side of the Twinkie, INFLATING it with additional whipped cream. He CRAMS the twinkie in into his mouth, never taking his eyes off the screen.

INT. HOGARTH'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Lit by the light of a black and white TV, Hogarth has moved furniture and piled up cushions, making a TV watching fortress.

Man: (on TV) Darn. A perfectly good brain wasted. I think you've seen enough. How about a nightcap? Let's say my place.

Hogarth: Oh, sheesh.

Miss Melon: (on TV) I was thinking the same thing. Mind reader.

Man: (on TV) Darn. I seem to have left my keys in the lab. Hmm.

Hogarth: You're gonna get it.

Man: (on TV) Who's there?

There's a NOISE OUTSIDE. Hogarth jumps. Listens. Must have been the TV.

ON the TV, a scientist and his assistant are involved in some kind of drama that includes a murderous brain.

ANOTHER NOISE OUTSIDE, louder this time. Hogarth freezes: that didn't come from the TV....

ROAR! The TV screen goes white with DEAFENING STATIC.

Hogarth: No! Not now!

He SMACKS the TV: no effect. He cranks the big channel knob: THUNK-THUNK-THUNK. All channels are static.

Hogarth: Come on! Stupid antenna...!

Hogarth stares at the screen, gathers his nerve. He hefts his flashlight and warily heads upstairs. 

EXT. THE ROOF - A LOFT WINDOW - NIGHT

Hogarth peers out. All quiet, just a WHISPER of wind. He crawls out onto the roof, his flashlight beam follows the flat TV wire up the roof toward its peak... and stops: the antenna is gone, literally torn off the roof!

Hogarth: Gone.

Now Hogarth pauses and cocks his head, listening. In the distance he hears a heavy "BOOM." And then another. He peers off into the woods. In the distance he seems to see something moving, just above the level of the trees. Something enormous.

Hogarth: Whoa... Invaders from Mars!

INT. HOGARTH'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Hogarth hurriedly equips himself: he tapes a flashlight onto a toy BB-gun; puts on a football helmet. Finally, he looks in the mirror and salutes himself.

Hogarth: Hogarth Hughes. Ready for action.

EXT. HOGARTH'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Hogarth hurries out, runs up to the first massive depression in the grass. Hogarth places his tiny foot beside the car- size depression, and very nearly loses his nerve.

He takes a deep breath and hurries into the woods.

INT. THE WOODS - NIGHT

A dark night, fog drifts through trees. Spooky. At the forest's edge, Hogarth looks up, sees broken branches where something entered the woods... something big.

Hogarth darts from bush to bush, follows the trail.

TIME DISSOLVE: Hogarth creeps on, the forest is now dense. More and more, the tree-damage begins to take shape, a tall tunnel formed by broken limbs, until...

Hogarth GASPS: the tunnel forms a perfect outline of a HUGE man-shaped THING. He SHIVERS, considers turning back... but he can't. He creeps on.

Hogarth hears a deep RHYTMIC HUMMING that VIBRATES the ground. It sounds strange... alien. He creeps on.

EXT. BUSHES NEAR THE POWER STATION - NIGHT

The HUMMING is LOUD. Hogarth slowly parts bushes to see... a power station: "DANGER - HIGH VOLTAGE". Tall power lines towers march through the woods. SPARKS SNAP.

THUMP! A giant metal foot SLAMS into the ground right in front of Hogarth, he YELPS. THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! Two huge feet become two huge legs. Hogarth looks up, up...

A GIANT. Made of metal! Forty feet tall, maybe fifty! Hogarth can't believe his eyes...

The giant stares at the metal towers, makes a METALLIC GRUNT that sounds... hungry. It reaches out and SNAPS off a thick piece of metal, pops it in his mouth, CHEWS NOISILY, and SWALLOWS. BURP. Mmmm good!

Hogarth: Wow... it eats metal. Cool.

Hogarth sits, hidden in the bushes, and watches, fascinated, as the giant "grazes" the metal towers. SPARKS fly from now-loose flailing powerlines.

The giant's eaten all the tower arms: he TUGS at a solid metal base: it's stuck. So the giant bends down to EAT his way down the tall metal tower: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP.

Hogarth realizes the giant is CHOMPING toward a mass of thick power cables that HUMM and SPARK.

QUICK INTERCUTS: EXT./INT. HOGARTH'S HOUSE AND POWER STATION - NIGHT

Annie grabs a flashlight by the door, illuminates the living room... what a mess! And... no Hogarth.

KA-ZAPPP! Electricity races up and down the giant's metal, it jerks, flies backward, trailing SPARKING POWERLINES that wrap around him as he stumbles into a tangle of more power- lines: KA-ZAP! It panics, flailing, SCREECHING, tries to free itself, gets more entangled.

Annie searches through the house by flashlight, for her son, becoming more and more frantic.

Annie: Hogarth...? Honey? Hogarth! HOGARTH!!

SPARKS SNAP AND FLY as the giant SHRIEKS in agony. A tower totters and falls... smashing into the ground just as Hogarth jumps clear.

Electricity arcs up and down the Giant's body. The giant ROARS, an AWFUL METAL SOUND, falls to its knees, eyes SPARKING, SHORTING OUT.

Hogarth looks around, desperate: he's got to save him! He sees a panel: "EMERGENCY CUT-OFF SWITCH". Hogarth runs toward it, sparks raining all around him. He grabs the panel... locked. He swings his BB-gun like a club: CRASH! The gun breaks, the panel door pops open. Hogarth grabs the huge switch and throws all his weight against it. CLUNK. The SPARKS slowly die away.

EXT. THE DEEP, DARK WOODS - NIGHT

The dazed giant, looks around, dizzy... he stands, sways, easily SNAPS free of the wires holding him. His eyes focus down (way down) on Hogarth. The boy and the Giant stare at each other for a long time. Now what?

Hogarth: Help! Help! Stop! Help!

Annie: (O.S.; CALLING) Hogarth!

Hogarth turns: down the hill, through the fog, he sees a light floating through the trees.

Hogarth: Mom!

Hogarth runs down the hill towards the light... then stops, turns back toward the giant....

...but back where the giant stood, seconds before, is now only dangling SPARKLING power lines. He's gone.

Hogarth stares: baffled. Annie rushes up.

Annie: Hogarth!

She grabs him by his shoulders, tightly, more out of fear than anger.

Annie: What do you think you're doing?!! Don't you know better than to wander off at night, alone?? What if something happened to you???

Hogarth: I'm sorry, mom...

Annie throws her arms around him, hugging him tight, desperately happy to know that her boy is safe.

Annie: Don't ever do that to me again, Hogarth. I was so scared, I thought I'd lost you...

A long moment passes with Annie just holding him and rocking... then--

Hogarth: (softly) Mom, you won't believe it. Some-thing ate our t.v. antenna.

Annie: Oh, Hogarth...

Hogarth: No, I'm serious! And I went out to see what it was--

Annie: (losing patience) Hogarth... please...

Hogarth: --and it was a Giant metal--

Annie: HOGARTH! Stop it! I'm not in the mood. (gentle, but firm) Come on. Let's go home.

INT. ANNIE'S TRUCK - MOMENTS LATER

Hogarth sits in silence as Annie starts the ignition. As they drive away, Hogarth can't help but look back over his shoulder. Backlit by the moon, he can just make out the outline of the Giant, half-hidden by the trees... watching them go...

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THE FOREST TREES - THE NEXT MORNING

The North Maine woods, the trees sway, holding their secret deep within.

INT. ELEMENTARY SCOOL - DAY

The TEACHER is quizzing her students. Hogarth is the smallest one in the class. On the chalkboard are written the words "RUSSIA" and "POLAND."

Teacher: And who can name another country that is part of the U.S.S.R.?

Hogarth raises his hand.

Teacher: Anyone besides Hogarth?

Hogarth lowers his hand. No response from the others.

Teacher: Anyone actually listening to me other than Hogarth? Hogarth, are we going to have to move you up another grade? Or should we move the rest of the class down? Alright, that's it. Everyone in the class except Hogarth can write me a five page essay. Call it "Allies and Enemies of the United States of America." It's due tomorrow.

The class groans. A big kid turns around to Hogarth, points at him, and gives him the "slit throat" sign. Hogarth WILTS.

The Rugrats Movie

The Rugrats Movie

Produced by

Gabor Csupo

&

Arlene Klasky

Release Date:
November 20, 1998

[Opening: The "Rugrats" TV intro plays in a small rectangle in the center of the screen. Captions "Paramount Pictures presents" and "A Klasky-Csupo production" fade on and off on top of this rectangle. At the end of the intro, where Tommy squirts his baby bottle, The streams of milk cover the entire movie screen, then drips down with a stereophonic cresendo to reveal "The Rugrats Movie" logo. Fade to black.]

[The camera is in the forest and move in the direction of a mountain in which their is a temple surrounded with Reptar statues. The Rugrats climb the cliff and are at the cave's entrance. The temple is dark and gloomy inside, as we are there, looking towards the outside, as the Rugrats race in. Once in the cave, Chuckie stops.]

Chuckie: Aah! This place give me the juicebumps!

[A group of bats fly out of the mouth of one of the Reptar statues.]

Phil: Maybe we should go back!

Lil: Very back!

Tommy: No! We can't go back now, you guys! Okey-Dokie Jones [whips with his jump rope]never goes back!

[The Rugrats move near a door shaped like Angelica's head. They act surprised. Inside the "mouth" is a bright, orange-colored light.]

Tommy: Hang on to your diapies, babies, we're going in!

Chuckie: [voice over] That's Tommy Pickles. He's the bravest baby I ever knowed!

[As Chuckie talks, Tommy races towards the door. As he got there, the door slammed, but he raced in there once it's open, and after he entered, it slammed shut again. Phil & Lil look surprised.]

Chuckie: [voice over] And that's Phil and Lil. Uh, uh, well, they - - they like worms.

[Phil & Lil hold hands and rush in through the door, which closed behind them.]

Chuckie: [voice over] And I'm Chuckie. Uh... I'm not so brave.

[Chuckie was hesitant to enter, but was "whipped" in by Tommy.]

Chuckie: [voice over] But that's OK, 'cause I got Tommy, and he's my bestest friend. [giggles]

[The Rugrats run to a tower on which is perched an idol. They climb the towre to reach the idol. While trying to take the statuette, the idol becomes a banana split and a trap is released, which causes an enormous rock to roll towrds them.]

Chuckie: Watch out!

[The babies starts to shout while running like the wind to try escape the rock.]

Tommy: You guys keep going!

[Suddenly, the floor open itself in front of them. Tommy, Phil & Lil made the jump, but Chuckie misses his, hanging on the brink.]

Chuckie: Tommy!

Tommy: Come on, Chuckie!

[Back to reality: The rock was Didi's stomach.]

Didi: Tommy!

[The babies scream and run away.]

Didi: You kids shouldn't be playing in here!

[The Rugrats run away at full speed...]

Chuckie: [voice over] We thought the fun times would last forever.

[Rugrats run into glass patio door and fall on the floor]

Chuckie: [voice over] But we was wrong!

Didi: Oh, my.

[Betty holds onto Didi as she picks up the Rugrats.]

Betty: Upsy-daisy, Didi.

Didi: Thanks!

[Betty opens the patio door and let the Rugrats go out. The grown-ups are having a baby shower for Didi.]

Susie: Thank you for inviting me to your baby shower Mrs. Pickles.

[Camera zooms out for a panoramic shot of the whole party.]

Didi: Glad you could be here, Susie.

Woman #1: What a pretty party dress, Angelica.

Angelica: Thank you. My mommy's assistant bought it especially for my Aunt Didi's party.

[Susie laughs while making fun of Angelica's dress.]

Angelica: [to Susie] Don't say a word.

[Along the fence, Aunt Miriam is in front of a blackboard, taking bets on the new baby's weight.]

Aunt Miriam: All right, I got $20 on 8 pounds, 6 ounces. 8 pounds 6. Who's got 8-7?

Man: Twelve!

Aunt Miriam: 12 pounds? What are you, crazy?

Chazz: Gosh, you can hardly tell she's gained any weight.

[While turning over, Didi knock over the table with her stomach.]

Woman #2: [as she proceeds to clean up the mess] Oh, don't worry.

Chazz: I mean, you know from behind.

Minka: There you are, Didala. Come. Look what we got for you. Boris, move your tuchus.

Didi: A goat? Oh, mom, you shouldn't have.

Minka: Nothing better for the little bubula than goat's milk.

Boris: Except maybe yak. But you try finding good yak these days.

[The babies run here and bump in the goat.]

Boris: [to the Rugrats] He's saying, "Hello". There you go, kinderlach, some chocolate coins.

[The Rugrats take the coins and hide their selves under the table.]

Woman #3: Everything I, Oh...

[On way to table, Chuckie bumps into ladies; they all gasp.]

[Pan to bottom of table.]

Phil: Aren't you gonna eat it, Tommy?

Tommy: Nope. I'm savin' it for my baby sister.

Chuckie: Oh, you mean, she finally came?

Tommy: Not yet, but they're giving her this big party, so I'm pretty sure today's the day.

Lil: Do you think she got losted on her way to the party?

Tommy: Hmm, I don't know. Maybe we better go look for her. Come on!

[Rugrats climb out from under table.]

Chuckie: Uh, but, Tommy, she could be anywheres.

[Chuckie bump into Didi's stomach.]

Betty: Watch it, pups.

Didi: Careful.

[Charlotte arrives; as per usual, she's talking to Jonathan on her cell phone.]

Charlotte: [on phone] I'll get back to you, Jonathan. I've got to say "hi" to the life of the party. [to Didi] How's our little man?

Didi: I told you, Charlotte, Dr Lipschitz says it's a girl.

Betty: Ha! That windbag thought Phil and Lil were intestinal gas.

Aunt Miriam: Face it, dolly. Riding high, it's a guy.

Charlotte: Well, you know what they say, "Born under Venus, look for a..."

[Charlotte's phone rings, interrupting her conversation. She immediately answers.]

Charlotte: [on phone] Hello?

Didi: Now, now, Dr Lipschitz is the expert. I don't see any of you with a Ph.D. in Latin.

Betty: Yeah, pig Latin maybe. Well, let's just hope for Tommy's sake it's a girl. I'd hate to think how much my pups would be squabbling if they were both boys.

Didi: Uh, uh, uh. Let's not do any gender stereotyping. After all, Stu and Drew are brothers, and they get along just fine.

[Cut to basement, where Stu and Drew are arguing.]

Stu: Pushy!

Drew: Lazy!

Stu: Bossy!

Drew: Inconsiderate!

Stu: Nosy!

Drew: Good-for nothing!

Stu: Busy-body!

Both: Why can't you listen to me?

Drew: We're talking about a real job, Stu, with benefits.

Stu: [shouts] I'm not going to waste my life as a clock-punching, paper-pushing, bean-counting... [calms down] Oh, no offence.

[Stu proceeds to weld.]

Drew: You can't even make ends meet now. You got no insurance, no savings, and another kid on the way!

Stu: For your information, bro, I am working on something right now that is going to put this branch of the Pickles family on Easy Street.

Drew: What is it this time, huh, an electric sponge?

Stu: Of course not! That was last year. [reveals a skeleton of the Reptar Wagon] This, this is the Reptar Wagon! The ultimate in toddler transportation. The perfect children's toy!

[Grandpa fixes an old radio as he talks.]

Grandpa: In my day, we had plenty of fun just throwing rocks at each other. Big bag of dirt clods, that's what the kids want.

Stu: The Reptar Corporation is holding a toy design contest, and the winner gets $500!

Drew: [sarcastically] Ooh!

Stu: And there'll be plenty more if this toy's a hit, and I'll be famous!

Drew: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you said when you built that stupid thing.

[Drew points to a Dactar glider, which is suspended from the ceiling.]

Stu: Maybe Dactar was a little complex, but... this... this...watch! [speaking into microphone, in normal voice] I am Reptar! Hear me roar!

Reptar Wagon: [Stu's voice, distorted] I am Reptar! Here me roar!

[The Reptar Wagon spit fire!]

Grandpa: Dang-flabbit! Can't a man work in his own basement without getting barbecued?

Stu: OK, so maybe real fire isn't the best idea for a children's toy.

[Drew's clothes are smouldering; Stu sprays Drew with the fire extinguisher.]

[Cut to Tommy's room, which was remodelled for the new baby. One side is blue, for Tommy's side, which has a Dummi-bear bed, a "Smile!" poster and a trunk with smiles painted all over, The new baby's side is pink, with a crib festooned with balloons, and an "It's a girl!" banner on the wall. The Rugrats enter the room to their amazement.]

The Rugrats: Oh!

Chuckie: Tommy, somebody's been colouring your room.

Tommy: Yep, it's for my new sister.

Phil: How are we gonna find her, Tommy?

Chuckie: Yeah, we don't even know what she looks like.

Lil: Well, she's a girl like me, so we know she'll be prettyful.

Angelica: [enters, carrying a big bunch of cookies using the lower part of her dress] Oh, brother! You dumb babies got a lot to learn about the facts of lice. [shoves Rugrats en route to table] Now, get out of my way. I gotta get back to the dessert table before the grownups get all the good stuff.

[Angelica dumps cookies on a table.]

Tommy: Angelica, can you help us find my baby sister?

Angelica: I wouldn't be in such a big hurry if I was you Tommy. 'Cause when the new baby gets here, she's gonna gets all the toys and the love and the attention. And your mommy and daddy'll forget all about you. It'll be like, "Look, Deed... there's that little bald kid in the house again".

Tommy: My mommy and daddy won't forget me.

Angelica: That's what Spike said before you were born. Back when his name was Paul.

Tommy: Paul?

Angelica: Yeah, but, then you came along, and they put him out in the rain, and he turned into a dog.

Tommy: That's not gonna happen to me, Angelica. My mommy and daddy will love me no matter what!

[Voice over: Susie is outside, singing to the tune of the first couple of lines of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" [or "The Alphabet Song", or "Baa Baa Black Sheep"]. Boris accompanies her on accordion. Angelica looks on from Tommy's room.]

Susie: [singing] A baby is very neat; a baby is a special treat.

Angelica: Ugh! Who does Susie Carmichael think she is?

Susie: A baby has lots of toes; a baby has a tiny nose.

[Angelica leaves while the other Rugrats watch from inside.]

[Cut to outside. All are singing, unless specified.]

Susie: A baby is a little dickens, a baby is a cuddly chicken.

[Angelica is next to Didi's belly, chuckling, as she plans to make her move.]

Susie: A baby is lots of joy...

[Angelica barges in.]

Angelica: A baby will get all the toys!

Susie: [spoken, to Angelica] What are you doing?

Susie: A baby has a smiley face...

Angelica: A baby is from outside space!

Susie: [spoken, disgusted] Angelica!

Angelica: [spoken, taunting] Susie!

Susie: A baby is extra fancy...

Angelica: A baby poops in his pantsies!

Susie: [spoken, angry] Cut it out!

Angelica: [spoken, defiant] No!

[Music switches to a Tejano beat, using different arrangment.]

[The Rugrats climb outside to watch.]

Susie: Like a birdie, singing in a tree!

Angelica: More like Reptar, screaming in your ear!

Both: A baby is a gift, a gift from a Bob! A baby is a gift from a Bob, Bob, Bob! A baby is a gift...

[Angelica does a gagging gesture.]

Susie: A gift from a Bob!

[Cut to under table, where the Rugrats crawled underneath. Tommy & Chuckie are talking, while music continues under.]

Chuckie: Do you really think babies are a gift from a Bob?

Tommy: I don't know. Why?

Chuckie: Because if Bob bringed a gift, it's probably one of them.

[Return to Susie & Angelica; music reverts to "Twinkle Twinkle", though the Tejano flavor remains.]

Susie: A baby is very special!

Angelica: A baby is, is [screams] notttt!

[Song ends; Angelica's screaming has induced Didi's labor. Didi groans in discomfort.]

Didi: Oh! Betty, it's time!

Betty: It's time? Oh, boy. [to crowd] Everybody to your stations, people! Howard, get Stu. Charlotte, call the hospital. Deed, start your breathing. Come on, good girl.

[Didi begins her rhythmic breathing.]

[The other grownups pick up the Rugrats.]

Grandpa: Up we go, sprout. We got a Pickle to deliver.

Charlotte: Let's go to the car, kids.

[During the rush, the goat broke loose and destroyed the party. While the goat destroys things, it set off the sprinkler system.]

Charlotte: Would somebody turn that sprinkler off?

[The goat comes inside, dragging a chair on his leg.]

[Grandpa and Tommy look on.]

Grandpa: Now, that's what I call a baby shower!

[Cut to exterior of the "Lipschitz Maternity Arts Building"; 3 cars race to the front enterance. Cut to interior, looking at a bank of monitors with Dr. Lipschitz's image on each monitor.]

Lipschitz: [on monitors] Welcome to the Werner P. Lipschitz Center for Holistic Birthing, offering the modern parent the state of the art in primitive birth alternatives.

[While Lipschitz speaks, a statue with Lipschitz holding several babies come into view. Then, cut to a board that displays the names of mothers giving birth, in a fashion of the "Arrivals" and "Delays" board at airports. The gang arrive at the reception desk.]

Nurse: Oh, Mrs. Pickles! You weren't due till next week, now, dear. Well, I guess we could try and squeeze you in somewhere, huh?

Didi: But Dr Lipschitz promised us the all-natural Zen experience in the Tibetan terrace room!

Boris: In my day, a woman just dropped her baby in the potato field and kept going.

[Nurse opens door to a room that has maternity equipment in a middle of a potato field, complete with cows and a farmer.]

Nurse: Ah, yes, the old country room.

Didi: Do you have anything a little cleaner?

Nurse: We could try the aquatic immersion room.

[The gang looks at a window of a tank that has fish, a sea turtle and ruins, plus the pre-requisite maternity gear. The new mother pictured is in scuba gear, while her doctor [holding the notepad] is in an old-fashioned sea diver's outfit.]

Minka: She's having a baby, not a gefilte fish!

[A couple of doctors enter; one of them is Dr. Lucy Carmichael.]

Dr. Lucy: Oh! Stu, Didi, Randy called to say you were on your way. [laughs] I didn't realize you were bringing the whole party! How far apart are the pains, hon?

Stu: Oh, they're... [Didi squeezes Stu's hand very tight] pretty much constant.

Dr. Lucy: OK, Didi; let's go and get you settled in, huh?

[The Rugrats are placed in a playpen.]

Grandpa: Here you go, sprout.

Didi: [to Tommy] Don't worry, sweetie, mommy's going to be OK.

[Grown-ups leave; Didi continues her breathing exercises. Grandpas Lou & Boris sit nearby, preparing to play cards.]

Chuckie: Oh, gosh, Tommy, your mommy sure seems upset.

Lil: Maybe your baby sister really is losted.

Tommy: Whoa! Maybe we can buy her a new one.

[Tommy pulls out his chocolate coin.]

Chuckie: Where're we gonna find a baby in a place like this?

[Pull away to reveal several doctors walking around, carrying babies. The Rugrats, in the usual fashion, break out of the playpen, and crawl out without being caught by Grandpas Lou and Boris, who are too busy playing "Fish".]

Grandpa: You got any queens?

Boris: Go fish!

Mulan

Mulan

[Chinese guard is seen walking on The Great Wall. Shan-Yu's falcon swoops down and hits the guard on the head knocking his helmet off. The falcon lands on top of a flag pole in front of a full moon and lets out a large cry. One grappling hook comes over The Great Wall. The guard walks over to the edge and sees many grappling hooks coming towards him]

Guard [yelling]: We're under attack! Light the signal!

[Guard runs to the tower and up the ladder as Hun Bald Man #1 and Hun Long Hair Man appear trying to stop him. Hun Bald Man #1 breaks the ladder with his sword just as Guard reaches the top. The guard picks up the torch to light the fire and sees Shan-Yu jump over the edge of the tower and looks at him across from the caldron. The guard throws the torch into the caldron lighting a large fire. Shan-Yu watches as each tower lights their caldrons one by one]

Guard [sternly]: Now all of China knows you're here.

Shan-Yu [taking the flag and holding it over the fire]: Perfect.

[Cut to the palace. The large doors to the central chamber open as General Li walks in flanked on his left and right by soldiers and approaches the Emperor. He bows, then looks up]

General Li: Your Majesty, the Huns have crossed our Northern border.

Chi Fu: Impossible! No one can get through The Great Wall. [The Emperor motions for Chi Fu's silence]

General Li: Shun-Yu is leading them. We'll set up defenses around your palace immediately.

Emperor [forcefully]: No! Send your troops to protect my people. Chi Fu.

Chi Fu: Yes, your highness.

Emperor: Deliver conscription notices throughout all the provinces. Call up reserves and as many new recruits as possible.

General Li: Forgive me your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him.

Emperor: I wont take any chances, General. A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.

[Cut to Mulan using her chopsticks to single out a grain of rice on top of the mound of rice]

Mulan: Quiet and demure...graceful...polite... [picking up some rice with her chopsticks and eating a mouthful] delicate...refined...poised... [She sets down her chopsticks and writes down a final word on her right arm] punctual. [A cock crows] Aiya. [Calling out] Little brother. Little brother. Lit- ahhh, there you are. Who's the smartest doggie in the world? Come on smart boy, can you help me with my chores today?

[Mulan ties a sack of grain around Little Brother's waist. She ties a stick onto Little brother so that end of it is in front of Little Brother's face.  She ties the bone on the end of the stick just out of reach. Little Brother begins to run after the bone which he cannot reach. Mulan opens the door for Little Brother and he runs into the door frame, then out the open door. Little brother runs by the chickens and Khan - the family horse]

[Cut to Mulan's Father, Fa Zhou, kneeling and praying before the Fa family's ancestors]

Fa Zhou: Honorable ancestors, please help Mulan impress the matchmaker today.

Little Brother [running into the temple and around Fa Zhou scattering grain around the floor]: Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.

[The chickens follow Little Brother into the temple and begin to feed on the grain]

Fa Zhou: Please, PLEASE, help her.

[Mulan steps up to the temple seeing Little Brother on his hind legs trying to get the bone. Mulan bends the stick down so that Little brother can reach the bone. Little brother gnaws on the bone happily. Mulan continues toward the temple]

Mulan [calling out]: Father I brought your-- whoop! [Fa Zhou bumps into Mulan. The cup falls to the ground and Fa Zhou catches the teapot with the handle of his cane]

Fa Zhou: Mulan--

Mulan: I brought a spare. [Mulan pulls out a cup from underneath the back of her dress and begins to pour the tea]

Fa Zhou: Mulan--

Mulan [hurried]: Remember, the doctor said three cups of tea in the morning--

Fa Zhou: Mulan--

Mulan: And three at night.

Fa Zhou: Mulan, you should already be in town. We're counting on you to up--

Mulan: --uphold the family honor. Don't worry father. I wont let you down. [Mulan covers over the writing on her arm with here sleeve] Wish me luck. [Mulan hurries down the stairs]

Fa Zhou [calling out]: Hurry! [to himself] I'm going to... pray some more.

[Fa Zhou turns and walks back into the temple]

[Cut to the town with Fa Li looking worried]

Bath Lady [poking out of her building]: Fa Li, is your daughter here yet? The matchmaker is not a patient woman. [She goes back into the building]

Fa Li: Of all days to be late. I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck.

Grandma Fa [walking in with a Cri-Kee in a cage]: How lucky can they be, they're dead. Besides, I've got all the luck we'll need. [Speaking to Cri-Kee] This is your chance to prove yourself. [Cri-Kee chirps approvingly. Grandma Fa covers her eyes steps into a busy street]

Fa Li [excitedly]: Grandma No!

[The traffic barely misses Grandma Fa as she crosses the busy street. But two horse and carriage collide causing a big accident. She arrives at the other side of the street, uncovers here eyes and looks at Cri-Kee]

Grandma Fa: Yep, this cricket's a lucky one. [Cri-Kee falls over out of fright]

Fa Li [sighing in relief]: Hai.

[Mulan arrives on Khan jumping over the recent accident in the street and jumps off with hay stuck in her hair]

Mulan: I'm here. [Seeing a stern look from her mother] What? But Mama I had to--

Fa Li: None of your 'xcuses. Now let's get you cleaned up. [They walk together into the preparation area]

[Song: Honor to us all]

Bath Lady: [all the while Bath Lady undresses Mulan and pushes her into the Bath]

This is what you give me

to work with?

Well, honey, I've seen worse.

We're gonna turn

this sow's ear

Into a silk purse. [Bath Lady moves the silk partition aside showing Mulan in the bath]

Mulan [spoken]: It's freezing.

Fa Li [spoken]: It would have been warm if you were here on time.

Bath Lady [washing Mulan's hair]:

We'll have you

Washed and dried

Primped and polished 

till you glow with pride

Trust my recipe for 

instant bride

You'll bring honor to us all

Fa Li [grabbing a sponge and Mulan's right arm to start cleaning her. She notices the writing] [spoken]: Mulan, what's this?

Mulan [Drawing her arm back and batting her eyelashes] [spoken]: Ahh, notes, in case I forget something?

Grandma Fa [spoken]: Here, hold this [hands the cricket to Fa Li]. We'll need more luck than I thought. [Mulan looks on with an air of disappointment]

[Cut to the hair dressers]

Hair Dresser 1 [Brushing and combing Mulan's hair much to Mulan's chagrin]:

Wait and see

When we're through

Hair Dresser 2:

Boys will gladly go to

war for you

Hair Dresser 1:

With good fortune

Hair Dresser 2 [Finalizing the hairdo to look exactly like hers]:

And a great hairdo

Both:

You'll bring honor to us all

Fa Li and others: [Mulan following her Mother passes a xiangqi game and pauses to make an impressive move. Mulan has a smug look on her face when Fa Li comes back and drags Mulan away]

A girl can bring her family

Great honor in one way

By striking a good match

And this could be the day

Dresser 1 [Dresser 1, Dresser 2, and Fa Li dress Mulan]:

Men want girls

with good taste

Dresser 2:

Calm

Fa Li:

Obedient

Dresser 1:

Who work fast-paced

Fa Li:

With good breeding

Dresser 2 [Pulling the dress tight around her waist]:

And a tiny waist

Mulan [expressing her waist being squeezed tight] [spoken]: huh.

All Three:

You'll bring honor to us all

Chorus: [Mulan follows Fa Li and sees boy stealing a doll from a girl. Mulan grabs the doll from the boy and returns it to its owner]

We all must serve

our Emperor

Who guards us from the Huns

A man by bearing arms

A girl by bearing sons

Make-up Lady/Fa Li: [Putting on Mulan's face, powder, lipstick and eye liner]

[in a 3 person round]

When we're through

you can't fail

Like a lotus blossom

soft and pale

How could any fellow

say "No sale"

You'll bring honor to us all

[Make-Up Lady holds a mirror so Mulan can see her reflection. Not looking pleased, Mulan takes her single, short bang and brings it down in front of her forehead and smiles]

Fa Li [spoken. Fa Li places a hair comb in Mulan's hair]: There, you're ready.

Grandma Fa [spoken]: Not yet! An apple for serenity [putting an apple in Mulan's mouth]...A pendant for balance [places a yin-yang pendant under her sash] [sings]

Beads of jade for beauty [putting beads around Mulan's neck]

You must proudly show it [Grandma Fa raises her chin high with her hand]

Now add a cricket just for luck [putting the cage with Cri-Kee under Mulan's sash in the back. Cri-Kee doesn't look pleased]

And even you can't blow it

Mulan: [Walking to catch up with the other maidens]

Ancestors

Hear my plea

Help me not to make a fool of me

And to not uproot my fam'ly tree

Keep my father standing tall

Maidens and Mulan: [Mulan taking the parasol from Fal Li and running to fall in line with the other 4 maidens]

Scarier than the undertaker

We are meeting our 

matchmaker

All Townspeople:

Destiny

Guard our girls

And our future

as it fast unfurls

Please look kindly on

these cultured pearls

Each a perfect porcelain doll

Maiden #1: Please bring honor to us

Maiden #2: Please bring honor to us

Maiden #3: Please bring honor to us

Maiden #4: Please bring honor to us

Mulan and Maidens: Please bring honor to us all!

[All Girls and Mulan arrive before the Matchmaker crouched down behind their parasols. End of song]

Matchmaker [looking at her clipboard]: Fa Mulan

Mulan [Jumping up and raising her hand]: Present.

Matchmaker: Speaking without permission.

Mulan: Oops.

Grandma Fa [to Fa Li]: Who spit in her bean curd?

[Mulan walks into the Matchmaker's building with the Matchmaker following behind and closing the door]

Matchmaker [looking over Mulan]: Huh, Hmm, too skinny. [Cri-Kee escapes from his cage. Mulan struggles to catch him] Hmph, not good for bearing sons. [Mulan puts Cri-Kee in her mouth when Matchmaker turns around to face her] Recite the final admonition.

Mulan [nodding and smiling]: Mmm-Hmm. [Takes out fan and covers her mouth as she spits out Cri-Kee] Ptu

Matchmaker: Well...

Mulan [with dignity]: Fulfill your duties calmly and re...f--[looking at her arm with smeared writing] spectfully. Reflect before you snack [surprised, Mulan looks at her arm again] act. [now rapidly] This shall bring you honor and glory. [Fanning herself rapidly and sighing in relief] Huh.

Matchmaker [snatches the fan and looks at it on both sides looking for notes not finding any. Mulan smiles big when Matchmaker looks at her. Matchmaker grabs Mulan's right arm pulling her along while smearing the writing and leaving some ink on her hand]: Hmmm, this way. Now, pour the tea [Pushing a teapot towards Mulan]. To please your future in-laws you must demonstrate a sense of dignity [Matchmaker smears ink around her mouth. Mulan staring at Matchmaker pours some tea onto the table then notices her mistake and pours the tea into the cup] and refinement. You must also be poised. [Mulan notices Cri-kee in the tea-cup as Matchmaker takes the cup]

Mulan [quiet and timid]: Um, pardon me.

Matchmaker: And silent! [Matchmaker sniffs the tea]

Mulan [reaching and grabbing the teacup]: Could I just take that back...one moment.

[They struggle for the teacup and it turns over on Matchmaker and Cri-kee jumps down matchmaker's dress]

Matchmaker: Why you clumsy--[Matchmaker feels Cri-Kee in her dress and dances around] Wooo, woooo, wooooooo, [Matchmaker knocks over her pot of coals, and sits down on the coals. Matchmaker jumps around screaming] Ahhhhhhhhhhh

[Mulan grabs her fan and briskly fans the charred area on Matchmaker's behind causing it to flame up. Mulan looks surprised about her mistake]

[Cut to outside Matchmakers building showing Grandma Fa with much noise coming from Matchmaker's building]

Grandma Fa [to Fa Li]: I think it's going well, don't you?

Matchmaker [running out of the building screaming]: Put it out! Put it out!  Put it out! [Mulan takes the teapot, throws the tea on Matchmaker and puts out the fire. She bows, hands the teapot back to Matchmaker and covers her face as she walks toward Fa Li and Grandma Fa] [with anger] You are a disgrace! [Matchmaker throws the teapot down smashing it to pieces] You may look like a bride, but you will never bring your family honor!

[The townsfolk who have gathered whisper and walk away]

[Cut to Mulan walking through the gate with her home leading khan. She looks sorrowful. Fa Zhou sees his daughter and smiles. Mulan sees her father's smile. She covers her face with Khan's head and leads him to the water trough]

[Song: Reflection]

Mulan:

Look at me [looking at her reflection in the water trough]

I will never pass for a perfect bride [taking off her earrings and beads of jade]

Or a perfect daughter [Mulan watches Fa Li relating what happened at the Matchmaker's to Fa Zhou]

Can it be

I'm not meant to play this part? [Mulan releases Cri-Kee back to the wild]

Now I see

That if I were to truly

To be myself [Mulan hops along the bridge railing]

I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl I see [Mulan looks into the pond and sees her own reflection]

Staring straight

Back at me? [Mulan puts her hand on the Great Stone Dragon and looks toward the temple]

Why is my reflection someone I don't know? [Cri-Kee rowing across the pond on a lily pad]

Somehow I cannot hide [Mulan walking into the family temple]

Who I am [Cri-Kee watches Mulan in the temple seeing multiple reflections of herself in the ancestors' stones]

Though I've tried [Mulan bows to the ancestors]

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside? [Mulan finishes wiping off her make-up seeing her reflection in the stones]

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside? [Mulan gets up and heads out the temple]

[End of song. Mulan sits on a bench under the blossom tree. Fa Zhou approaches her, clearing his throat. Mulan sees him approaching and turns her head away. Fa Zhou sits down beside Mulan]

Fa Zhou: My, my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year [looking up into the blossom tree]. But look, this one's late. But, I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all. [Mulan and Fa Zhou share smiles. Drums start pounding announcing the arrival of Chi Fu and two guards on horseback]

Mulan: What is it?

[Fa Zhou gets up and walks to the entrance of their house with Mulan following]

Fa Li: Mulan, stay inside.

[Grandma Fa clears her throat catching Mulan's attention and motions inside. Mulan spies the railing near the wall and climbs up to watch over the roof]

Chi Fu: Citizens I bring you a proclamation from the Imperial City: the Huns have invaded China!

Townspeople [expressing surprise]: No!

Chi Fu: By order of the Emperor, one man from every family must serve in the Imperial Army. The Xiao family [a family member steps up, bows to the guard and takes the conscription notice from the guard]. The Yi family.

Yi's Son [holding his old father back]: I will serve the Emperor in my father's place.

Chi Fu: The Fa Family.

Mulan: No.

[Fa Zhou gives his cane to Fa Li and walks toward Chi Fu. Fa Zhou bows before the horsemen]

Fa Zhou [standing proud]: I am ready to serve the Emperor. [Fa Zhou reaches for the conscription notice]

Mulan [running outside to keep her father from taking the conscription notice]: Father, you can't go.

Fa Zhou [turning to see his daughter]: Mulan!

Mulan: Please sir, my father has already fought bravely--

Chi Fu: Silence! You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man's presence.

Fa Zhou [looking away from Mulan]: Mulan, you dishonor me.

[Grandma Fa guides Mulan back away]

Chi Fu [handing Fa Zhou the conscription notice]: Report tomorrow at the Wu Shu camp.

Fa Zhou: Yes, sir. [Fa Zhou walks back into the homestead refusing to take his cane from Fa Li]

Chi Fu [fading out as we follow Fa Zhou]: The Chu family. The Wen family. The Chang family. The...

[Cut to Fa Zhou in his armory at night. Fa Zhou takes out his sword and practices his stances. Whan he balances on his right leg, his leg injury acts up and he falls. Unbeknownst to her father, Mulan watches in horror. She breathes heavily]

[Cut to dinner. The Fa Zhou, Grandma Fa, Fa Li, and Mulan eat in silence. Thunder can be heard and lightning can be seen through the opaque window. Mulan pours the tea for her family. She slams her teacup down on the table and stands up]

Mulan: You shouldn't have to go.

Fa Li: Mulan!

Mulan: There are plenty of young men to fight for China.

Fa Zhou: It is an honor to protect my country and my family.

Mulan [angrily]: So you'll die for honor!

Fa Zhou [standing up and angered]: I will DIE doing what's right.

Mulan [starts to speak but is cut off]: But if you--

Fa Zhou: I know my place, it is time you learned yours.

[Mulan looking like she's about to cry, turn away from Fa Zhou and runs outside into the rain storm and cries]

[Cut to Mulan sitting at the base of the Great Stone Dragon in the rain. Mulan looks down to see her reflection in the puddle caused by the rain. She watches her parents in the bedroom. Fa Li turns away from Fa Zhou and walks out of site. Fa Zhou blows out the light. Mulan gets up and walks to the Fa Family Temple. Mulan's image reflects off the stone tablets as she lights incense and places it in the hanging encense holder. She bows and prays to her ancestors. Getting up, Mulan hurries down the steps. Cri-Kee sees her and hops down from above and follows her. Mulan goes to her parent's bedroom and takes the conscription notice replacing it with the hair comb her mother gave to her. She pauses to give her parents a loving, sorrowful look and hurries out. Cut to Mulan in the armory. She opens the cabinet with the armor. Using her father's sword, she cuts her hair short and ties it up above her head. She finishes putting on the armor and ties it in the front. She takes the sword and places it in the scabbard to her left. Cut to Mulan in the stable doorway. Khan rears back in fright at the sight of Mulan. Mulan goes forward and comforts Khan letting him know her identity. Mulan walks Khan out of the stable, Cri-Kee watches from the ground as she passes by. Mulan takes one sorrowful glance back at her parents bedroom and rides Khan through the gate and off to camp.]

[Cut to the face of a statue in the Fa Family Temple. The eyes glow. Cut to Grandma Fa. She wakes up with a start rising in bed. Cut to Grandma Fa walking into Fa Li and Fa Zhou's bedroom, both are in bed]

Grandma Fa: Mulan is gone.

Fa Zhou [waking up]: What? It can't be. [Fa Zhou looks at his night stand and notices the hair comb in place of his conscription notice. He checks the cabinet and sees his armor is gone. He hurries outside] [calling out] Mulan! [He stumbles while walking because of his leg injury] No.

Fa Li [kneeling down beside the fallen Fa Zhou]: You must go after her. She could be killed!

Fa Zhou [sadly]: If I reveal her, she will be. [Fa Zhou embraces Fa Li]

Grandma Fa: Ancestors, hear our prayer: Watch over Mulan.

[Cut to the Fa Family Temple. A wind blows out the incense at the base of the center stone. The center stone begins to glow as First Ancestor comes to life]

First Ancestor [motioning to a bronze dragon]: Mushu, awaken!

[Mushu comes to life and falls to the ground flat on his back all being obscured by smoke]

Mushu [rising from the smoke arms stretched out]: I live! So tell me what mortal needs my protection Great Ancestor. You just say the word and I'm there.

First Ancestor [agitated]: Mushu!

Mushu: Hey, let me say something. Anybody who is foolish enough to threaten our family, vengeance will be MINE. Hrrrrr.

First Ancestor [sternly to silence Mushu]: Mushu! These are the family guardians [motioning towards the stone statues on pedestals near the ceiling]. They...

Mushu [dejectedly]: Protect the family.

First Ancestor [pointing to the empty pedestal]: And you, oh demoted one.

Mushu: I...ring the gong.

First Ancestor: That's right, now, wake up the ancestors.

Mushu: One family reunion coming right up. [ringing the gong] Okay people, people look alive, lets go! C'mon get up. Let's move it, rise and shine. You're way past the beauty sleep thing now trust me!

Ancestor 1: I knew it, I knew it. That Mulan was a trouble maker from the start.

Ancestor 3: Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family.

Ancestor 2: She's just trying to help her father.

Ancestor 4 [appearing out of thin air]: But, if she is discovered, Fa Zhou will be forever shamed. Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate.

Ancestor 5: Not to mention they'll lose the farm.

Ancestor 1: My children never caused such trouble. They all became acupuncturists.

Ancestor 3: Well, We can't all be acupuncturists.

Ancestor 6: No, your great granddaughter had to be cross-dresser!

[All ancestors argue at once, except First Ancestor]

Ancestor 7: Let a guardian bring her back.

Ancestor 8 [grabbing Mushu and bringing him next to a guardian]: Yeah, awaken the most cunning.

Ancestor 4 [taking Mushu and holding him next to the stone rabbit guardian]: No, the swiftest.

Ancestor 9 [grabbing Mushu and holding him next to the stone monkey guardian]: No, send the wisest.

First Ancestor: Silence! We must send the most powerful of all [Motioning to the Great Stone Dragon as it is seen through the window]

Mushu [climbs up the empty guardian post laughing]: Ho, ho, heh, heh. Okay, okay, I get the drift, I'll go. [All Ancestors give a quick look of surprise and laugh uncontrollably] You all don't think I can do it. Watch this here. [Mushu produces a small flame from his mouth] Ah, ha, Jump back, I'm pretty hot huh. Don't make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.

First Ancestor [grabbing Mushu and pulling away from the post]: You had your chance to protect the Fa family.

Ancestor 6: Your mis-guidance led Fa Deng to disaster.

Fa Deng [with his decapitated head on his lap]: Yeah, thanks a lot.

Mushu: And your point is?

First Ancestor: The point is we will be sending a real dragon to retrieve Mulan.

Mushu: What? But I'm a real dragon.

First Ancestor [grabbing Mushu and pulling him away from the guardian post as Mushu fights to hold on]: You are not worthy of this spot. Now, awaken the Great Stone Dragon. [First Ancestor throws Mushu out of the temple]

Mushu [looking back into the temple]: So you'll get back to me on the job thing.

[An ancestor throws Mushu's gong and hits Mushu in the face]